Saimota Oneshots (OPEN FOR REQUESTS)

You are my only reason to live. (Angst)

Okay so, I just read one of the Angsty Saimota book for like, twice? And well, looks like I got some sort of Idea to make one.
I also added some theme song there. Yep, it was my fave Utaite who covers the song. I love Mafumafu so STAN MAFUMAFU!!!
Depressed!Kaito x Shuichi
We've seen enough Depressed!Shuichi so why not go with Depressed!Kaito instead? *shrug*
Non-Despair AU
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"Kaito, is everything okay?"
"Everything is fine Maki Roll, no need to ask for it."

Kaito Momota, who has been Depressed for 2 Years. He had been keeping this secret for a whole time and never reveals it. He had been diagnosed with Clinical Depression 1 Year and a half ago. Therefore, no one would ever know what has gotten into him.

He has been refusing to take some Theraphies after the Diagnosis he got, for years and months, he really refuse to take it.

Shuichi Saihara, the boy that he loved, the boy that he always thought in his minds, is the only thing that he really meant to live. He loved him so much but, he's afraid that Shuichi wont return his feelings for him.

On Weekends, he doesn't have a mood to go out. He only stayed at home for a long time. All he could do is just laying on his bed, or doing something that 'copes' him. He cutted himself multiple times with something sharp like a glass shard, knife or else. Even smokes a cigarette or drink.

While he was at school, he couldn't put his mask on to act ridiculous and dumb. He went with his currently stressed out mood instead of putting his mask on. He couldn't get himself to have an eye contact with anyone, especially Shuichi since he has fallen for him. He sat at the seat that was really back on the corner of the class because he thought it makes him comfortable. Maki approached him, curiously. "Hey, is everything okay? Why are you looked like this?" She asked. Kaito may couldn't put his dumb yet, idiotic mask on again, even lie at the same time. So, he sighed and told her. "We'll talk about this at the break time, on the school rooftop." She agreed to him.

Break time arrives, Maki has promised him to go to the rooftop so, she went there to meet him. At the rooftop, she saw him sitting on the bench, waiting for her to come. "I'm here." Maki said, approaching him. He saw her, he greeted him with a little smile as she sits next to him. "So, what do you want to talk about?" She asked, Kaito left out a sigh. "This was some sort of secret I've been keeping from anyone. First, I've been diagnosed that I have Depression. Second, I 'coped' myself by self-harm. And Third of all... I have a crush on Shuichi, he's my only reason why I wanted to live. But I'm scared to confess about it." He explained, the Assassin was shocked in silent. "May I-" She haven't finished her words, the Astronaut already pulled the sleeves of his up, exposing the cuts he made. Maki couldn't say a single word after she saw that, but then, she said it. "Look, I know it feels hard to face it but, I'll help you out. If you need me just text me alright?" He nodded.

At Home, Kaito lies on his bed. He recieved a text from Maki.

Maki Roll

Maki > Hey, I didn't saw you confessed to Shuichi. What's wrong?
I was afraid y'know? <
Maki > Why are you afraid to confess it? It's easy right?
Confessing it is not that easy. What if he rejected? <
Maki > I see... but I know you can try your best Kaito. I'm sure he could confess back to your feelings right?

Kaito couldn't respond about it, he put his phone on the table and again lies on his bed. He started to cry his tears out. "What am I gonna do..? How can I do this..?" He couldn't help it, but to 'cope' it out. He took a sharp object again but this time, it's on his neck but not too deep. It'll kill him slowly but he doesn't want it. He cut it 3 times as the neck starts to bleed out. It actually hurts, he loved but hated the pain at the same time, but still doesn't care about it.

The next day, Kaito was not in mood to talk with anyone, just Maki. He bandaged the scars on his neck that he made last night. In all sudden, Maki approached him. "Kaito, can you please tell me, why you didn't answer my question?" Kaito only respond with a silent. "Answer it. Don't make me punch you." The Assassin starts to get pissed. And she punched Kaito right on his face. Within that, Maki was surprised about it. She punched her own friend by an accident. "K-kaito, I'm sorry! Are you okay?!" She looks at Kaito, she realized he was on his really depressive state. She looked at the bandages on his neck. "Maki, it's fine... Don't worry about me. I wasn't in mood to talk with anyone." He said. Maki was surprised about what he just said. She saw a sad smile on him. 'The smile... And the sad looking face mixed with it... Does that mean he wanted to die..?' She thought.

Kaito had gotten a rough year since 2 years ago. He was already being too annoying to anyone else and ruined their funtimes. But, this isn't the last day that he has to live. He need to achieve his goal; Confess his feelings to Shuichi. He was pretty much tired, because he lacked up some sleeps past years. He was bandaged up, because he has been self-harming himself for a long time. And then, the Stress he has, he couldn't cope them up unless he did something.

The Next Day was his last day to live, and tomorrow he'll commit suicide if Shuichi didn't confessed back to him. Shuichi was his only reason to live. Looking at his arms, both have many cuts. Including his neck, the bleeding didn't stop since yesterday, so he kept covering it with Bandages. His eyes are still tired due to lack of sleep.

At the Rooftop during Lunchtime, Kaito was sitting on the bench alone, eating his lunch since he doesn't eat a lot after past 2 weeks or 3 days. Still thinking about Shuichi, he couldn't stop himself from thinking about him. 'This is the last day that I'm living into this shitty world. If he didn't confess back to my feelings, I guess, this is the end of my life.' He thought to himself, until.. "Hey, Kaito... May I, sit beside you?" The Astronaut looked surprised hearing that familiar voice, it was Shuichi. He looked at him, without a word he just nodded 'yes' at him. "Thank you!" He sat on the bench beside Kaito, eating his lunch. 'Holy shit, Shuichi's here! Gotta think Kaito, I know you can do this!' Kaito thought to himself again, he took a deep breath and started to confess.

"Shuichi..."

"Yes?"

"I-I... Never thought this would've happen but... I have feelings for you. I love you so much and I fucking love you from the bottom of my heart!" The Detective looked surprised at what he just said. 'Please don't let this flop...!' Then, the Detective took deep breath. "I love you too Kaito." The Astronaut was surprised about what he just said. "Everytime I saw you, I saw you more than just like, Sidekicks or Bros to each other. You're actually my dear lover that I've been thinking about, and I love you so much than anyone else!" Hearing those compliments, he has finally achieved his own goal. And tomorrow, he wont commit Suicide. He felt joy but cry at the same time as he hugged the Detective. "I-I love you so much Shu..! Y-you're my only reason to live..!" He was surprised about it. "Is there a reason why..?" He asked, Kaito left a sigh and answered. " I was diagnosed to have some sorta, Clinical Depression. Then, I 'cope' myself by Self-harm and such. And third of all... I fuckin have huge feelings for you, and I'm afraid you wont confess my feelings back.. If not, I might just die instead.." He then cried again on Shuichi's shoulder.

Kaito had been attempting to commit Suicide so many times, Hanging himself and cutting himself deeply hurts him a lot. Even he he tried to kill hself with the Coal method, it wont work because bugs will came out from their hiding places when they reacted to the Carbon Monoxidite Poison. He attempted those methodes for 3 times for 6 Months. Once one of them wont work he might just do another method. "I felt bad for you... Doing these wouldn't solve anything. But I'm glad you didn't try to commit suicide after you confessed. I felt worried about what just happened to you. You were hurt and tired, because of the depression you got. But I'm so happy that you didn't attempt to do this." The Detective smiled and pulls out tears of happiness as he started to kiss on the Astronaut. He looked pretty surprised but Kissed him back.

"I love you Shumai.."
"I love you too, Kaito.."
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Ha ha, this looks depressing. But yeah! Another Angst after the Mastermind!Kaito oneshot I made a while ago! But this has much Angst than before.
Well, I think this took like, 3 days to make because of FUCKING MOTIVATIONS.
Also, for the Suicide Methods part, I took some sort of inspiration from the pretty much infamous Webtoon Korean Comic called "Suicide Boy" so yeah. I love that Comic anyway qwq
Alas, I've finally done another Angst here, he he-

Word Count: 1662