Expedition towards Success

Chapter 06

A week has passed and Wendy haven't come to school even once, except for the day we first met. I wanted to contact her, but I was hesitating because maybe she has a problem at home, or a problem at her own. And that's something I shouldn't be meddling. 

I did a great job on managing my time properly without depriving myself enough sleep. I hope I would be consistent for the following months, and hopefully until I graduate.

I've completed my first sixty hours of assisting.

Today is Thursday and I am currently preparing myself to school. While combing my hair in front of the mirror, I saw my sister submerging inside my room.

I turned to face her and I flashed a curious look. Obviously, she seldom come here and talk to me. Unless she has to say something really, really important. 

She's wearing her uniform, and probably on preparation to school as well; sporting a blank expression that engender me feeling intrigued. That tricky look on her face makes it difficult for me to decipher her emotion. I can't figure out what's her concern for her to approach me.

She was just calmly standing in front of me and looking at me intently. She softly sighed.

"Are you really sure about this?" she uttered.

Even though she only stated a partial of the subject matter, I knew the thought is there. I immediately understand what is this all about. There's no need to elaborate.

I surveyed her face and once again, saw nothing to comprehend.

I wanted to know her thoughts.

She doesn't do this. I've never seen her giving her attention to me. She doesn't show if she supports me or she disagrees with my aspiration.

She was just there, minding her own business, oblivious to her surroundings, unbothered with everything.

I avoided her gaze and faked a smile. "I have no doubts."

Sadness clouded her features. But I'm dubious what was that for.

Was she tired already? Was she thinking the same thing as my parents? That I should give up my dreams and work already in order to help them financially?

"You're so selfish, Andrea. You only think about yourself." she furiously declared before she stormed out of my room.

I was taken aback with her sudden outburst. I was left dumbfounded. Tears shimmered in my eyes as I absorbed the words that was thrown to me. 

So that's what they think of me?

That I am selfish?

I am selfish.

Damn.

I never knew dreaming is forbidden and attaining them is selfishness.

Was I that bad? Do I really think about myself only?

Maybe yes, maybe no.

I may be relentless when it comes to my dreams like I am ready to endure everything that will get into the way.

But I am not blinded by it.

I am aware of every little thing my parents have done for me and I am more than grateful for it. I wanted to pay them back.

That is why I'm doing this. That is why I wanted to be successful. I wanted to show them that they did not raise a child who's a disappointment; a disgrace to the Cordova clan.

I hope they will soon realize it...

I will make them realize it.

After a few moments of thinking and reflecting, I fixed myself and inadequately went to school.

I was late.

But thank God Judge Rouge is from the other dimension, so luckily, I'm still early.

I forlornly sat down and organized my things. The books I borrowed were still with me even though the rule was the students should be returning the books before it reached 3 days in their possession.

But then since I am a student assistant, I was permitted to use it without a time limit. I am really pleased with their consideration.

I took out the books and read them. I didn't mind the people that surround me. I feel gloomy. I suppose that my teary eyes and red nose were still visible and would be easily noticed.

"You're late." I heard from someone beside me. I didn't face him but I can feel his presence ever since I've arrived through his manly scent.

"I'm not in the mood, Matthew."

"Hmm. I wonder where did your 'at least I'm not late' line before departed?" He cocked his said side wards and chuckled.

I took a sideway glance and rolled my eyes. I sighed and closed my book.

I glared at him. 

Now he looked surprised; he may have noticed my mood. "Is there something wrong?"

I shook my head.

"Come on, what's bothering you?"

I looked at him and I saw the worry in his eyes.

I smiled. "There's nothing wrong."

He sighed and just nodded but he didn't look convinced.

He looked at me intently as if studying my expression so I smiled wider. He sighed and shook his head. 

These past few days, Matthew and I became closer. I've spotted on my own that he's just being pushed by his parents to take up law and this was not really what he wanted to pursue.

For that, I've realized that I'm still fortunate that I have the courage to stand up on my own, to contest and to fight for my dreams.

I realized that I didn't let my parents take control of my life. I didn't let them own my dreams.

I rule my life. I am not a slave.

I realized that even if you have nothing with you and everything against you, you will be able to carry on as long as you have the courage and perseverance beside you.