Expedition towards Success

Chapter 17

I couldn't believe I did that. Despite the doubts and uncertainties that have formed inside me, I managed to pull those lines off and proved their negative thoughts about me wrong.

But it was more like I was just assuring and convincing myself that the rumors were not true. Because I, myself, was starting to doubt my capabilities.

I stormed out of the restroom, leaving everyone behind. I didn't listen to Matthew who's calling my name. I didn't mind Wendy. I left.

I was fuming mad.

Never in my life had I questioned my abilities. I was always competent, thinking that I can achieve the things that I've wanted through my potentials. I was always competitive, wanting every desires of mine pulled off and never left undone.

That is why I really can't identify my actual feelings right now. I'm disappointed with myself, dismayed and doubtful.

I trusted too much. I trusted myself, I trusted my skills, and I trusted Matthew. Damn, I didn't even know he was the grandson of the school's owner. I trusted too much. Now I'm disappointed.

I was mad. I wasn't sure for whom... But I felt really betrayed. I thought it was my hard works and sufferings that brought me here. I thought it was me. I thought it was for real. I thought it was genuine. I thought it was really what I deserved. But it appeared not.

I wiped off my tears and gathered myself up to have the courage to go back to school. I will inform the librarian that I won't continue my assistantship anymore. It will not be a big deal, though. It's the end of the school year already, anyway.

I'll go to the school administrator and ask for my papers and forms, the cards I'll need to have when I transfer school. Yes, I'll transfer. I want to leave. I want it quick.

No matter what the circumstances are, I'll still stand with my decision.

I unconsciously cheated? No problem, I'll leave and find a new school wherein I could apply my skills and be a legitimate scholar.

Cross fingers. I just hope they still have slots left.

I went to the librarian and swiftly got permitted about my concern. After that, I made my way to the office to ask them to process my papers quickly. I was interviewed and questioned about my sudden decision. I just told them I need those already and I'm in a hurry. I was asked to pay for the papers.

I stopped thinking about it so the throbbing feeling inside me would subside. But I couldn't. My mind kept thinking about it. Questions kept pouring out.

Why did Matthew do that? How did he? We didn't know each other before. So how...

I shook my head and took them off of my mind. There's no point of getting answers. It has been an issue. He made a mistake. If he thought that it has helped me, if he thought that that move of his was beneficial and made it more convenient for me, then his thought was fucking wrong.

Damn you, Madrid.

When I already got my documents, I left and went home. In my mind, while on my way home, I started preparing for my litany at home. I started thinking of my reasons that will answer their expected furious questions.

I heaved a sigh and nervously played with my fingers. I slowly walked to the door while whispering my practiced speech.

"Papa, I'll transfer school next school year. I think I have to find a school that will made me grow. That school I'm in doesn't provide the satisfaction I expected..." Blah blah blah. I continued whispering them to myself while walking.

I know that was one lame excuse, but whatever. As long as I'd be able to convince them.

My eyes were shut tightly as I murmured my script. I was about to reach for the doorknob and twist it when my phone vibrated. I knew it was Wendy. I ignored it and went inside the house.