Loving The Boss.

7.

I don't regret my decision to talk to Hugh, I just avoid a lot of his questions. I can never be truly normal or free of his control so I decided to just go back to the hamster wheel and cycle again only this time I'm racing to break it.

"So you're talking again?" Simon snickers as he stood by my desk. "Yeah I couldn't stay mad at him it only affects me in the end so I just decided to simply talk to him and avoid the unnecessary stuff. "He's my boss and I'm just going to do what I was assigned to do the rest I ignore." Simon didn't look convinced, he always knew me well.

"Are you happy with that though?" Honestly, I wasn't, I wanted to be held, to be cherished and this was not it. I guess somewhere deep down I was giving up. "Yeah it's so visible that you aren't and the tears make a statement on their own." Simon remarks as I try to pull myself together.

"You need to let it out you've been bottling up your emotions and using anger as a cap to close that bottle." He was right. I had been angry, I was hurt but in all that anger I shoved down all my other emotions. He comes around my desk and embraces me. I let it all out, the pain of loving Hugh, never being good enough and the realization deep within that Hugh wasn't mine and he never will be.

We stayed like that for almost an hour. "Thanks for being here Simon." He nods and turns to leave. "You know Mel if it were up to me I'd love you like the gem you are." He walks out before I could reply him. Simon was straight but lately, that statement has been dwindling into nothing.

"Did Simon just give you a compliment that any straight man wouldn't say in their right mind." Justin's dramatic self stood by the door. "Yes gay best friend he did." I smile as I think about Simon, unfortunately, nothing can happen between us. I don't want my other best friend to die and I think he's more into Justin than me.

"Well interesting development, but child leave some for me. You can't have all the cute ones." There he was my best friend claiming Simon. "There is nothing going on, he was being a friend and a really good one, plus I think he might be more into you than me." I raise my brows for emphasis.

"Sweet Black Jesus, I just want that white boy to pin me to a wall. I never thought about it but I think I might opt for swine now." We both burst out laughing as he made that statement.

"You're crazy Justin." This was his way of cheering me up and I appreciated it. "Anyway I just saw a tall skinny white boy who looked like he was about to faint of starvation, he was walking like an epileptic kangaroo heading towards you know who's office." I sighed. It might've been yet another one of Hughs office fucks. "Right now I'm honestly not interested, I just wanna live my life and get out of here." Justin nods as we change the topic.

"Well you're not half as bad black twinkie." Cortez stood in front of my desk as Justin turned to meet his gaze. "Oh dear, you must be Cortez right, damn you seriously need a whole thanksgiving dinner to put some fat on you, you're so skinny if a real man was to pound that ass you'd break. Tsk tsk." Looking away I couldn't control my laughter as Cortez turned different shades of red.

"And by the way, he's Filipino and African American." Cortez rolled his eye and came forward.  "Soon enough I will get rid of you and that wench you call a friend, you're nothing but dirt Hugh keeps around for entertainment, like I told you, you're worthless." Before Justin could slap him he walked out.

"I really don't like that guy." I was the same when it came to Cortez I hated him but to some extent he was right I really didn't have a place in Hugh's life. What was my purpose in his life so far other than being his friend and assistant at home and work. I was practically a slave who gets paid.

I turned to look outside after Justin left. People down there always seemed to be in a hurry. I envied their freedom. I envied a lot. I got carried away just watching them and imagining their life stories and thinking of where my own life was headed. I will be thirty in a few years and I don't even have a car to my name only accounts with millions that I never use anyway. I'm not even allowed to use my own money.

"Lunch is here come on." Startled I turn around abruptly hand on my chest. "Easy there it's just me." He tried to touch me but I back away. "What's wrong?" The man seemed concerned as he came closer. "Nothing Hugh I'm fine." Immediately I moved to the side avoiding contact with any part of him. It all but broke me being this close to him since he claimed my feelings were irrelevant.

Like the gala he grabbed my hand, I hissed as his grip tightened. "Then why won't you let me touch you?" Seriously, he wanted me to justify that when he knew what's the problem. "Hugh we aren't lovers and I very much like my personal space, so please let go." Failing to yank my hand back from his grip I glared at him.

"You're mine in any sense, Mel, I can touch you like I want, I'm your best friend and there is no such thing as personal space between us, now come on we have lunch to eat." He drags me out of my office and to his iron grip unchanged. I hated being treated this way. Dad, why did you ever sell me? I tried adjusting and I fell in love with my buyer and now he won't reciprocate those feelings. I'm pathetic.

As I sat down on the couch on my usual spot I ate the pasta looking outside the window. It was my escape from reality it made me feel better because at least my heart and mind would be free to roam. "Can I go to the park? I just need to breathe." I knew my tone and voice came out as a plea and squeaky. I didn't look at him to know his expression. It was a definite -

"No you cannot." I knew it. "Why not, it's just a park." I still didn't look at him. "I have a meeting so I won't be there to keep an eye on you, Nolan isn't around as well so No."  I knew that was his dismissal tone. You couldn't argue any further from them on. So I remained mute.

Finishing the food I thanked Hugh. "We have lunch with Cortez tomorrow, just thought you should know before I forget." I wanted to know why. I had no reason to be there either.

"Why and Why am I needed there?" My question seemed to bore him as stalked over to me straightening out his blazer. "Because I said so." He left me by the door. Astounded I shook my head slightly and moved. I just didn't understand why I was needed Cortez hated me and it was obvious, Hugh didn't want me and that too was obvious so why was I needed.

"Hey does he have any meetings?" I asked assistant number one. "Yeah several, I think all afternoon and evening till eight thirty-ish." I nod thanking him.

I needed to be free of all this for a couple of hours, I needed to breathe so I was going to the park.

Damn the consequences.

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LMJ