Loving The Boss.

16.

Hugh.

I know I shouldn't have touched him, I know I shouldn't have breathed in his scent, I know I shouldn't have loved him the way I did, and I knew I shouldn't have hurt him like I did but I had to.

I met that little boy 8 years ago after his father owed mine money  he could not pay back, so they made an agreement Mel would be given to my family to serve under me as I saw fit, my father agreed. As the mafia back then was handed to me I had Mel by my side.

I handn't expected to see him adapt to the lifestyle of a mafia boss but he did, trained till his bones cracked and made a name for himself that even now causes fear. I had begun to notice my own sexuality day by day my attraction to men grew as did my attraction for Mel when my father suggested he go to college, I couldn't help but be angered by the action because if he were to go another would find him beautiful and take him so I decided to keep him close, as I finished my own masters degree away from the family business he did his design major.

It was always so fun being around him, he lit up any room and he made me feel wanted and not the killer I had been bred to be. As time went on little by little I realized Mel had become a major part of my life and I couldn't lose him because of feelings that would easily go away so I looked for love elsewhere.

For a time he and I were friends, he taught me how to be a dominant and how my sexuality could never define me. Though we were both dominant Tyrell was the second love of my life, but my involvement with the mafia pushed him away he didn't want to be part of it because his parents had died at the hands of mafia men. So we broke up.

I had Mel with me and my occasional manwhore tendencies, Tyrell and I parted on good terms but I knew I had hurt him. He moved away and we never really kept in touch. 

Mel and I came back to the mafia and ruled, for a time or was great until the thrill faded and the adrenaline rush no longer mattered as much, Mel took me out of the mafia, he convinced me to use my business degree and money to start my company and six years later I have one of the major companies in the city.

As much as I hoped my feelings for Mel would go away they wouldn't, I love him and even though I told him we would be friends I know we could never be friends, but I can't lose him, my relationships never last, I'm too broken to love anyone except him and I fear I may never be enough for Mel, I know I could him hidden from the world because I fear someone might take him from me, he's my first love.

The night I had sex with him was the best I ever had and I knew I was his first, I had killed that boy who had tried to take what was mine before he could even kiss Mel, so I know I was his first, I shouldn't have had sex with him but I had lost control,  I've loved him for years but I've been a controlling coward so I let myself have him once but that shouldn't have happened I regret it because it hurt him and fucking  Tony helps me forget my own pain.

I'm too broken to be fixed and I couldn't have Mel be swept up in my own turmoil and feel betrayed after being with me and realizing I couldn't live up to his standards. I couldn't give him a happy home all I knew was how to keep him and protect him from the dangers of the world.

It why I had resigned myself into doing, keeping a close eye on him and keeping him from harm's way, without having to touch him when his thick ass was paraded the penthouse, I had tortured myself to no end because the one I wanted to feel was my best friend and if I did so I would lose him, therefore, fucked around a lot just to keep myself from pinning him to a wall and ravishing him.

I want to do right by him but how do I do that when I don't know how to love Mel the right way, I can't try and fail, he'll leave me and I don't want to be alone so It means we must be friends.

"You're up early, ready for round three." Tony moans beside me. He was alluring but he wasn't Mel. "Get up and get to work." I needed to be alone, and I couldn't have Mel walk in here with him in my bed naked.

"Oh okay." He seemed to have been crushed but I don't care. "I will see you at work." He nods with a slight vigor and dresses to leave. I make my way to the bathroom, the usual routine but longer to get rid of the smell of sex.

I couldn't hear the steamer or anyone in the adjoining closet. Mel always wakes up early and lays out my clothes for me. As I finished the shower, there was no Mel and the steamer looked rather lonely in its place.

He always does this, it perplexed me when he first did it but it became a habit since the first day we started the company, he's done it for all those years unless he was sick or mad at me. I assumed he was resting so I picked out my own clothes.

"Morning Nolan." He seemed angry but wouldn't say it. "Spit it out, Nolan." He remained stoic as he always was. "Has Mel come down for breakfast."

"No Sir, he hasn't." His tone was different almost sympathetic. I walked back upstairs to knock on his door, we had to get to work. "Mel." Silence. Assuming he was sleeping I made my way downstairs. "Breakfast sir." I saw the housekeeper offering breakfast she usually did it if Mel didn't stop her.

As I sat down eating my breakfast I expected him to walk downstairs and make my day brighter by simply being here but nothing. "Nolan stay here check if he's alright when he wakes up and report." The ever stoic man nods and I left to go for work.

Something was off about today, I could feel something was wrong but I had no idea what it could be. I nod to my driver as I make my way inside my building, as usual, they either cower away from all of the skanks male and female tried to get my attention.

"Morning Sir." I nod to my assistant. "Morning Tony, what do I have today." As he began to explain I couldn't help this guy feeling that something was not right, I knew it was odd behavior but something was truly missing.

"Thank you Tony get to work." He sulks at the lack of attention but he wasn't Mel he could never be. As I began working I couldn't help the odd feeling that was creeping in. So I took out my phone from under the mounts of paperwork and dialed Nolan.

"Its almost lunchtime Nolan and you haven't reported, is Mel alright?." I could hear him knocking on a door. "Sir Mel hasn't been outside his room since you left." That raised alarms in my head.

"Kick down his door if you must, but check on him." I could hear him knocking with no answer. "Sir the door was open and it seems no one is inside."

"What!! Nolan he was in there last night where the hell would he go?!"

"I checked the entire room sir he's not here, I will check the camera footage to see if they have anything."

"Alright I'm on my way." I cut the call. "Tony! Cancel all that I have today." He saunters into my office with a confused stare, "Something wrong?" He asks as I frantically wore my blazer. "Mel isn't home." I saw his scowl at the mention of his name but that didn't matter I had to find Mel.

My Mel.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

LMJ