Gypsy

Chapter 22

·Zara·

A few days have passed since our group outing, and I find myself thinking about it once again. No matter how often I think about it, it always seems a little unbelievable now, the whole thing, as if it had been just a really weird dream. I've seen Adam once since then, but that had only been by chance. It's hard to keep in touch with people when you have no means to do so. That chance run-in has led to this one.

Today I am waiting for him at the park. It's funny how where we'd once been forced to spend time together has now become our designated meeting place. I look from where I sit to where we'd held the memorial for Sadie and a wave of sadness washes over me. Everything we'd left behind in her memory--the cross, the candles, the flowers--it's all gone now, no doubt cleaned up and thrown away the very next day by the people I'd been sentenced here to do that with.

It's depressing, thinking how the world had thrown her away. All that is left of her now are our memories. And though I know I'll always hold her in my heart, I know those, in time, will fade too. She'd always been too good for this place, a saint bound to this rotten world, and I tell myself often that she's where she belongs now. Someday, I know I'll believe it.

"This seat taken?"

His soft request startles me and I jump. I flick a hand to my face to wipe away an errant tear just before I look up at him. He is frowning softly down at me, and embarrassment warms my cheeks. I don't cry in front of other people. Only two people have ever seen me do that in my adult life, and that had only been once, a long time ago.

"No," I say, my voice softened by my melancholy mood.

He sits down next to me then leans over his knees. He is quiet for just a moment before he looks back at me, worry softening his gaze.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Some days are just ..." I shrug my shoulders, not really wanting to say more. I look away and back out over the park.

"If you ever need to talk to someone, I'm a good listener."

I nod my head but don't respond. I appreciate his offer, but I don't really think he'd want to hear about the shit that goes on in my head. It's a little too dark for the bright world he lives in. Besides, that's personal. I like him and all, but that's not the sort of thing I'd feel comfortable sharing with him.

"So, where're we going today, Blaze?" He chuckles softly at his newest nickname and I give him a sideward glance. And there it is, the fire in his cheeks I'd aptly named him for. I think about that a moment and then I smile. This one is sticking.

"Thought maybe a bite to eat, and then whatever you want to do." He looks back at me, his smile softening. "What do you do for fun, Zara?"

"I don't--" My voice freezes up. What do I say? Fun? I laugh, almost bitterly, and shake my head.

I can't remember the last time I did something because it was fun. Not counting the few times I've done that with Adam and his friends, I can't recall a single time. The only time I ever have fun is when I'm making music, but even that has become nothing more than a means to an end for me.

"You look like you just swallowed a bug. You sure you're okay?"

I nod my head and then I let out a soft sigh. I can only think of one thing that I might have considered fun once, but is that something I want to do with him? Better yet, would he be willing to possibly risk his life to do it?

"Not gonna lie, you're worrying me a little bit here, Sprout."

I finally turn to look at him. I give him a nervous smile and his brow furrows just a bit more in response.