Gypsy

Chapter 32

·Zara·

My eyes fly open the next morning just before dawn with the realization that last night had not been a dream. It was horrible. And wonderful. And I am so confused. I know Adam will be up soon; I'll have to face him, but what do I say? I have no idea how I'm supposed to act.

"Oh my God, what in the hell am I doing?"

I lay there a very long time, my thoughts running in frantic circles around my mind. When I finally hear noises in the hall, I know I won't be able to avoid him forever. Better to get this over with now, I suppose.

I open my door then peek into the hall. His door is open so I know he's out there somewhere, waiting. I shake my head at myself. "I'm looking for Adam, not a serial killer. Get it together."

I hear noises coming from the kitchen, so I take a deep breath and head in that direction. He's standing with his back to me, in a pair of sweats that hug his hips. His back is tapered and smooth, with a spray of freckles across his shoulders. I smile at that. It's kind of adorable.

I jerk my gaze away. What are you doing? You're acting like a pervert. I feel my cheeks go red even as I walk quietly over to the table and sit down. I glance up to find him looking at me, his mouth curved into a soft smile. I try to smile back, but even I can tell by the way it feels that I'll never be an actress.

His smile falters and he sets the coffee he's been making down on the counter. He crosses the room to me then squats down when I look away.

"Hey," he says softly then reaches up, barely touching my cheek to turn my head back. He studies me a long moment before he speaks again. "Are you okay? Are you upset with me?"

This is not the grumpy giant from the courthouse or community service. This is the nice guy from the diner and the water tower. His eyes search mine, and I know he's trying to read my thoughts. The problem is, I can't even read them myself.

"No."

"No, you're not okay? Or no, you're not upset with me?"

"Both?"

He gives me a crooked smile then pulls his hand from my cheek. He drapes them both over his knees and shakes his head.

"Are you ever going to give me a straight answer about anything?"

I laugh a little at that and shrug my shoulders. Just as he's about to get back to his feet, I blurt out, "I've never been kissed before."

That stops him mid-crouch, and he looks so funny I let out an involuntary laugh. I think it's amusement, but maybe it's nerves. Shit, I don't know anything this morning, not even how I feel.

"Never?" he finally asks as he squats back down in front of me.

I shake my head then look down at my lap.

"I would really like to hold you right now," he says and his tone is so soft it makes me nod, as if it has hypnotized me.

He takes my hands and pulls me to my feet as he rises. Slowly, he slips his arms around me, as if he's worried he might scare me if he moves too fast. It's a reasonable worry, given our history.

But something has changed between us, even if I don't know what that something is. I let my arms encircle him too, and for a long time we just stand there, holding each other.

This isn't the same as when he'd held me up on the tower. This is tender, and warm, and nice. I lean my head against his chest and smile when I hear his heartbeat. I've never been this close to anyone before, not even Maddox or Andre.