Torn up (part 2)

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Demi's POV
I had been so busy working with my acts that I hadn't really had time to think. I knew that my mental health was deteriorating but apart from that I was doing alright. The contestants and judges lived together in a hotel during the live shows. There was so much rehearsing that we were with eachother pretty much all day and all night. It was the morning of the first live shows and we were all hearing down for breakfast. I was starving so I immediately grabbed a plate and headed for the hot food queue. Lost in my thoughts I jumped when I felt somebody lean in and whisper into my ear
"Do you really think you should be eating that Demi? You've put on a good few pounds recently." I turned round to see Kerry smirking at me
"Y-yeah" I stuttered putting down my plate and heading back to the judges table.
The others immediately noticed my lack of food and got worried
"Drop the look guys, I'm just really not hungry this morning. I'll eat my lunch, promise."
Kelly handed me an apple "please just eat this, it'll keep you going"
I gave her a weak smile and said thank you to her. I took a tiny bite of the apple which by that time the others were distracted by conversation nobody noticed that I didn't eat the rest of it.

Walking back to our rooms Simon pulled me into his side
"What's wrong Dems?"
"Nothing I'm fine"
"I know you Demi, there's something going on. Let me in and talk to me."
"I'm just not feeling too good, I'm still grieving." It wasn't exactly a lie but it was also so far from the truth.
"I'm sorry D, really I am. If you need to talk I'm here"
"Thanks Si" I gave him a hug before walking off into my room. I took a nap before I had to go to the studio, I needed all the energy I could get.

"Shit" I shouted as I woke up, I had forgot to set an alarm meaning I had slept in. Dragging a brush through my knotted locks I ran out the door and jumped in one of the cars that was going to the studio. Thankfully I got there on time, slightly flustered but I managed to calm down. I was rushed straight into hair and makeup then before I knew it I was back at the panel. The night started off really good, the acts were proving themselves and the audience was sending off amazing vibes. I had managed to calm down until it was time to introduce my next act
"Next up is the greatly talented Kerry Brooks!" I exclaimed with a very fake but believable smile. Shockingly to all of us she gave quite a bad performance. She was off key and lost the rhythm a few times, definitely had been the worst of the night. Her comments from my fellow judges weren't too kind, Kelly implied that she had regressed badly and Simon said he didn't think she would stay in the competition. The latter comment made me ecstatic, hopefully this nightmare would be over soon.
"I have to admit Kerry, it wasn't your best performance but I know that if America keeps you in the competition, next week you'll come out with a bang."

I was anxious, I knew Kerry wouldn't have liked the comments. Sure enough once we were back at the hotel she grabbed me and pulled me into her room.
"Demi what the fuck was that?"
"What?"
"Well you obviously didn't mentor me well enough, you failed me Demi. You're not good enough to be on this show"
"I'm sorry, I will do better"
"No you won't Demi, you'll never be good enough to mentor this category. Admit it Demi, you're a failure. Say it"
"I'm-I'm a"
"C'mon Demi say it!"
"I'm a failure"
"Good, now leave. Don't think this is over." Nodding swiftly I ran out into my room. When I shut the door my knees buckled and I fell to the ground sobbing. I believed every word I had said, I am not good enough and I am a failure.

I woke up the next morning and started getting ready, I wasn't up for breakfast this morning, I thought I could go to the gym instead. Putting my earphones in I walked down the hall of the hotel when I bumped straight into one of my contestants Lauren.
"Hey Demi, I was hoping to find you. Kerry wanted me to give you this." Anxiously I took the note out of the envelope. My heart dropped as I read it

Hey Dems, remember this?

I knew what it was before I opened it. The suicide petition. The one she started, the one that almost one. The one that has haunted me every living day. I could feel my breathing getting out of control, I fell to the floor as I went into a panic attack. I faintly heard Lauren screaming on Paulina as she seen her walking out her room. I felt the familiar hand on my back and the soothing voice of Paulina trying to slow my breathing and ease me out of the attack. Suddenly Simon was also at my side trying to take the paper I was clutching out my hand
"Simon n-no"
He took it anyway, ignoring my pleas to stop.
"Demi what is this?" I shook my head in response. Sighing Simon pulled me to my feet and walked me to my room. We sat in silence for a while until he decided to break it.
"Please tell me this isn't what I think it is? Why is Kerry's name on it? Demi please."
"She was my biggest bully at School. She started all my mental health issues. She got Lauren to give me this today. She's been taunting me ever since she turned up. My eating disorder has come back. I-I-I relapsed Simon. I'm so sorry" I cried into his chest. The familiar soft feel of his tshirt being the only thing keeping me grounded in that moment.
"Why didn't you say anything Demi, you should've told me."
"I couldn't, she would've done something to me. I'm scared Si. I'm so scared."
"We'll get her out Demi, we'll get you help."
"I think I should quit Si, I'm not good enough to mentor the contestants."
"Demi, get her words out of your head, she's not good enough. She shouldn't even have the privilege to know you."
"That's not true, you know it's not." I just got a hug in response.

Simon immediately kicked Kerry out of the competition, she didn't take it well but she had no choice. The public got told that she had to leave due to personal reasons, nobody would ever know the truth. I had managed to get help to get my mental health back on track thanks to Simon; the father I never had. Things were finally looking up.

I'm so sorry I had no clue how to end this, it's so bad 🙃 sorry I'm not updating as much anymore, been really busy but I'll try get one out every week. Thank you all for the support, it means a lot. Please let me know of any ideas or requests and stay safe x

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