Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

Chapter 1: Him

"When I saw Cassius, I didn't feel anything. Okay well that makes me sound like an unfeeling slug. Let me start again. When I saw Cassius there wasn't that movie scene where the "wind" magically blew in his face and lifted his floppy mop of brown hair. Maybe it was reddish brown, or actually you know what is was autumn. Anyways, I just saw a fellow 6th grader, one I knew faintly from 4th grade. We made eye contact and then awkwardly ducked back into our bubbles. We scurried away like rodents, no that sounds weird, oh well you get the gist. 

It was so weird between us, because the summer before we had seen each other on vacation and our parents tried to get us to become friends. I was already a socially stunted butterfly, then you throw a boy in the mix. Yeah, you can imagine how well us playing Dora checkers by the campfire went. And I know you're thinking 'what in the world she was way too old for Dora' and you are right. Please pass that information on to my great grandmother when you get a chance. I know there is always two sides of a story. Although I am quite sure Cassius would agree he thought I was the weirdest girl he had ever encountered.

 I say that to be a preface for what I am about to tell you. I am quite a competitive girl, so naturally when he won EVERY SINGLE GAME I went on a rant and may have knocked the checkers board off into the fire. It was a total accident... I nearly meant to knock over the pieces. Onto the grass I might add. So, yeah after that Cassius thought I was the she hulk and he didn't come out to play anymore for the rest of the trip. And that is also why making eye contact with him in the hallway was so awkward."

I release a deep sigh as I relax my shoulders and look over at Molly whose mouth is agape.

"Oh flitter, I did it, again didn't I? I totally word vomited all over you and didn't even answer your question. I apologize I just get so sidetracked. Okay, uhhh give me a second to remember your question." Molly finally closes her mouth so I begin eating a few fries to mull over what she asked me in the first place.

"Ohh right I remember now, so I decided falling in love wasn't a thing that same year. That's why I thought about Cassius and told that story to give you some context. After our awkward encounter in the hallway Cassius and I met again in homeroom. We both had Mrs. Rusk and you know how diligent she was keeping things organized.

 So, she had us sit in alphabetical order by last name. So, you guessed it I was sat right behind him. In my head I acted cool when she told me I would be sitting there. Apparently, I was a little more frazzled that I first thought. After I took my seat Cassius turned around and said, 'You looked about as freaked out as I did when you threw the checkers set into the fire that one summer. Shouldn't I be the one who's scared to sit in front of you?' 

Molly, my mouth fell open from shock. Oh, but wouldn't you know it Cassius said, 'let me get that for you' and he put his hand under my chin and closed my mouth FOR ME! After that I felt electricity in my veins and for a moment, I thought it was from his touch. But then I realized I was angrier than I had ever been in my life. And this time I was going to turn into the she hulk."

"I love you Ella, but you are hands down the worst about rambling. I asked you..." Molly pauses to check her phone, "a whopping thirty minutes ago why you hadn't ever been in a serious relationship. And that's when you said that you didn't believe in falling in love. You meet a guy, get to know each other and then breakup." I stare blankly at Molly's ear trying to not meet her gaze. "What in the world does Cassius Bryans have to do with how you came to that conclusion?Honey, this time you better get straight to the point. I have to be at work in forty-five minutes please don't make me late again. She reaches over and grasps my hand in hers and gives me her best puppy dog eyes.

"Cassius was my first kiss, and my first relationship. But it wasn't the true love romantic type of relationship that makes you dream up your wedding. It was toxic and manipulative like my grandparent's relationship. I realized that when you quit loving someone, they quit loving you. And that it was a selfish love dependent on what we could supply each other with. Whether that be support, a kind word or as it went on a concierge service only there to take the other persons baggage. 

I thought I knew him, I mean we had known each other for years. But he was different in our relationship, I was different. I didn't like who I had become. So, I told myself that falling in love was a part of Hollywood's "movie magic". And from then on, I vowed only to find out who a guy really was under all those masks. That way I teach them what Cassius taught me. It's better to not play pretend unless you can handle the truth."

"Oh sweetie.." Molly had clutched my hand so hard the entire time I talked that it was throbbing now. "I am so sorry to hear that, my heart breaks into a million pieces for you. I wish I would have known that sooner. But I understand there are demons in our past we try to leave behind. And even just talking about them too much can bring them back to haunt us.

 I appreciate you opening up me like that hon. One day, you mark my words down and keep them safe, one day you are going to find a man who makes you believe different. I just hope you give him the chance to. I love you sweet girl, but I have to get going. You don't hesitate to stop by, there will be a strawberry milkshake waiting for you. Whoever said a girl's best friend was a diamond..." here she pauses waiting for me to finish our silly saying.

"Must've not met a girl because ice cream heals a broken heart." I say as I roll my eyes dramatically for effect. "Thank you, Molly Pocket," I wink as I nudge her shoulder. She hates me calling her that. Ever since I accidentally said "Molly Pocket" instead of "Polly Pocket" one day when we were kids, I haven't let it go. "For old times' sake, huh?" 

"Whatever you say," Molly says as she casts a sideways glance my way while getting up to leave. "Seriously, Ella remember what I said, I love you and I'll see you soon!"