Unspoken Feelings

Love's Fallacy

For someone like me who had never been in a relationship could never understand why the majority of the masses put too much effort in finding love. It is funny how they actually work harder in building their romantic relationship than in building their wealth. I could never understand them. I couldn't until I had you.

I know it wasn't love but it was the closest thing I had. It was awkward, it was fragile, young, shallow and filled with uncertainty but it was us and it was enough. Though I never committed and was contented with never having to commit but still it gave me hope. Hope that maybe someday I will be accepted for what I am. I was not asking for much. All that I ever wanted were faithfulness, respect and understanding. You gave those to me and for a brief moment we were happy. I was happy. But then you chose to walk away and I had to let you go. Thousands of what ifs drown me and doubt started knocking at my door. We've been taught that love is this amazing feeling that will complete us. That love will give us hope and happiness but if love is this great, why do we end up hurting? If love gives happiness why do we end up crying? If love gives hope, why do we end up hopeless? If love was everything we ever wanted and needed, why do we often push it away? If we badly wanted to be love, why do we refuse those who do love us and chase those who don't? If we really wanted all of them then why are we so scared to show and give all that we are? If love will complete us, why do we end up hollow?

I thought the only way for me to heal is to completely forget you but I realized that was not the right way to move on. The only way for our hearts to stop aching is to accept the pain and understand than even good things come to an end. But just because we had ended that chapter of our lives doesn't mean we need to bury it and never to recall again. We must remember the people who gave us those experiences not to reminisce the pain but to relive the happiness and treasure the lessons they gave. After all as Alfred Lord Tennyson said "It's better to have love and lost that never to have loved at all."