Of Choosing You

9 - Traditions are Fun

Chapter 9 - Traditions are Fun

Already one week has passed since my night with the girls. Sobrang nag-enjoy lang kami dahil ang tagal nga naman naming hindi nagsipagkita. 

When I surprised them, well, nagtilian lang naman ang lahat lalo na si Ynah. Naku, napakalakas lang naman ng boses. Kinailangan pa syang kurutin ni Jarrah para lang tumigil. Sa liit nyang yon, nakakatili sya nang parang aabot sa kabilang unit. 

We caught up at sinubukan kong ilayo sa'kin ang topic pero laging bumabalik. Kumusta na raw ba ako? Bakit daw ako umuwi after 2 years lang? Bakit hindi daw ako tumagal don? 

Looking back, I felt like shit when I went to Dubai 2 years ago. I was heartbroken, lost, and hopeless. I was not sure kung kailan aayos ang buhay ko noon at kung paano ba ako babalik sa normal na ako. Hell, I was never even sure kung sino ako.

I got an opportunity for a job in a famous hotel there and I used that as an escape from whatever kind of life I had here. I went for it, all bad shit and messed up me. I wanted a clean slate and I got it there. I worked my ass off to stop myself from overthinking. Sabi nila Mama, pinapagod ko lang ang sarili ko. I had to have vacations din daw to rest. But resting means stopping, and stopping means thinking. I couldn't afford to stop.  

I couldn't let myself drown in the thoughts I was escaping from. It's too risky to dwell on those thoughts when I hadn't learned how to swim in them yet. So I worked. Overtime was never a problem. I got employee of the month several times because of it. I also worked freelance for Orange Slices during my free time. Well, yeah, I had all the time in the world. 

So why did I come back? Aside from my contract ending already 'cause I only signed a 2-year contract, I really missed home. Feeling ko rin nasa mas maayos na akong mental state at kaya ko nang mabuhay sa sarili kong isip kahit papaano. Hindi na ako masyadong tumatakas at natutunan ko nang lumangoy sa mga tinatakasan ko noon. I am not fully healed yet, but I want to believe that I can do this. Law of attraction ba. Ayos naman ako rito so far. Gusto ko parin yung pagiging busy dahil na rin siguro sa nasanay na ako, at tinanggap ko na noon pa na workaholic talaga ako.

The girls spent the night last week in our unit and we all agreed to do it again. It was great to catch up with them. Jarrah is still in the real estate business, and is managing her online clothing shop. Ynah is a freelance model, being the face of some brands and is helping her family in their business. KZ is an airport ground staff for three years now. She says she can't leave the job and I still do not understand why. Keira, as of the moment, is a freelance photographer while she contemplates whether or not she'll be going to the U.S. to help her mom in their business. Alec is a health and lifestyle vlogger while attending to their hotel business. She's here in Manila right now but she may be deployed to Boracay sometime this year daw. 

I love how freelance are working for most of us especially since almost everything is online now. Being a freelance reviewer also helped me a lot when I was in Dubai. I knew I helped Vien in some ways too. 

Speaking of reviews, I have read two books this week and my reviews are already done. 

"Hi, Art. Uhm, here are my reviews this week," I say as I hold the papers up for him to see. 

He doesn't seem to hear me 'cause he doesn't look up. I wait for him to acknowledge my presence but he doesn't. He is looking at his computer screen so seriously, he might as well be burning a hole through it.

I clear my throat and say softly so as not to startle him. "Art?" 

He finally looks up and stares at me for a good 2 seconds before he speaks, "W-what? Sorry."