marvel oneshots

birds of a feather - clint barton x reader

"Y/N, stick with Clint"

You held back your laughter at Steve's order, throwing him a semi-sarcastic salute before walking over to Clint side.

"Oh this is gonna be fun" he sniggered, making eye contact with Natasha who was shaking her head, a look of incredulity on her face, "You up for a friendly competition?"

"You betcha Hawkeye" you smirked, checking your thigh holster, "What's the game?"

"Most creative kills?"

"Oh you're going down"

He just shook his head, smile only growing as he ran over ideas in his mind.

"But you have to use a bow and arrow"

You watched him carefully, eyes narrowed.

"What?" He said defensively, "I've been teaching you and I wanna see how well you're doing!"

"I don't believe that for a second but you bet your ass I'll still beat you with this"

His smile grew even wider, holding his hands up in surrender as you grabbed the spare bow from the weapons rack on the side of the jet.

"Do you two have eyes on the target?"

"Sure do Cap, ugly ass sweater and ripped jeans" you quipped, leaning over Clint's shoulder to look, "I do like their shoes though"

"Thanks for that eye-opening information, very helpful"

"You're welcome Tones"

Clint just rolled his eyes at your behaviour, swallowing down his laugh before answering properly.

"They're approaching the coffee shop on 43rd street"

"Suck up"

Clint stuck his tongue out at you, sitting back into a more comfortable position.

After another 3 hours of roof-jumping and stalking, the man eventually ended up leading the group to an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of Philadelphia.

"Bingo" Clint grinned, sharing a wild smile with you.

"We're in pursuit" Steve said, "take down anyone who makes a run for it"

As soon as you were given the go-ahead by Steve, the two of you burst into action.

Three arrows in hand, you rapid-fired the nearest men, a smirk on your face as each arrow hit them in the middle of the chest.

"I call that one the third nipple threesome"

Clint scoffed, straightening up as more hostile flooded the area.

"When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J. Penis, brain, jaw." he grinned, whipping arrows out of his quiver and nailing his targets.

You couldn't hold back your laughter, Clint wiggling his eyebrows at you as the next round of hostile approached.

The competition dragged on for a while, the two of you throwing progressively inventive names at each other as you went.

"That was a triple b-eye-pass"

"I bet I can make him do the cha cha slide - aha!"

"Did ya see that? Popeye!"

"Now that was RnB: Ribs, nipple and Butt "

"Are you humming head shoulders knees and toes?"

Your bullets embedded themselves in the named parts in time with the nursery rhyme

"Why yes, Clint, I am"

Natasha just rolled her eyes as you both stumbled back to the jet, arms wrapped around each other to stay up right as you howled with laughter.

"I don't understand" Steve said to Tony, watching the two of you in confusion.

Tony just snorted, patting his head condescendingly.

"It's alright Cap, you just need to pay more attention to what happens in the training room"

"Who won?" You asked, head lolling onto Clint's shoulder as you fought for some breath to fend off the pain from the stitch in your side, "I'm pretty sure I lost count"

"Let's just call it a draw, yeah?"

"but what about the prize?"

"I can think of something mutually beneficial" he smirked, dipping his head so that his lips ghosted over yours.

"oh" you gasped, angling your chin so that your lips connected in a gentle kiss.

"Finally" Nat sighed, smiling smugly from the other side of the jet as Tony handed her a 20 dollar bill.

"Okay, now I'm really confused" Steve groaned.