Milk & Cookies

The calm before the storm

12:01am

🐥

June 12, 2019 6:00pm

"Hey, what's wrong?"

I've been asked that question numerous times this day by my mom but I can't tell her what's going on. She won't understand even if I explain, I know she won't. She's neither an iKONIC nor a K-Pop fan. I can feel that she's really worried but I don't have the courage to tell her and be laughed at. I can't seem to take all the words she may say if ever I told her that I am being like this because the leader of my favorite boy group is leaving. That's absurd. I don't want to sound ridiculous to her as I narrate the journey of iKON and how successful they become and is crumbling now.

I am trying my best.
To look normal. To not be affected. To smile. But I can't. I am hurt. I wish that the news I'm going to see in my newsfeed is all about how Hanbin decides not to leave the group. That Hanbin and the members will have a comeback soon. Or that Hanbin will release a song on soundcloud or do a Vlive. I don't know--- but something that is better than the issue right now.

I put down my phone. Hug my knees. Silently cry.

I want a hug.

iKONICS are going through a tough time again. I wish someone in this household will hold me and understand.

My phone ring as notifications started to flood. Countless of tweets, messages, and articles are saying that Hanbin finally showed up and fix this mess. False rumors that Hanbin is leaving iKON. They will sue whoever made this fake news.

I quickly click the most reliable source I could find and it is TRUE!

it is true...

Tears started flowing again but this time it's out of hope and happiness.
.
.
It was only an ample amount of time to realize that I was just imagining it.

it was true... how I wish that was all true

No notifications. No good news. Nothing.

June 12, 2019 11:00pm
• Contract Terminated
• Deleted articles regarding the issue
• Former Member of iKON

A lot were telling that this was media play. I say they ruin the career of an innocent jewel. Another masterpiece goes down the drain.

I put my phone down. Grab a pillow. Cover myself with a blanket. And cried myself to sleep. Nothing changes. No matter what the media say.

iKON still is consist of 7 members....Jung Chanwoo, Song Yunhyeong, Kim Donghyuk, Koo Junhoe, Kim Jinhwan, Kim Jiwon, and Kim Hanbin

I woke up with a heavy feeling in my chest as if I went through a long term sadness. I can't remember my dream but I feel like I should.

I quickly rose up and checked calendar

November 11,2018: PRESENT

I did a rain check too, just in case. This is no ordinary day. Today is the day I'm getting married!!!

Hands shaking. Heart pounding. Do I have everything that i need?

Lightstick- check
Ticket- check
Powerbank- check
Full bat phone- check
Larynx- check
Inhaler- check

I am inside the venuee. iKON CONTINUE TOUR IN MANILA is happening in a few and being in one place with them, breathing the same air with them I COULDN'T ASK FOR MORE!!!!

Finally I could see them perform live! This is always a fangirl's dream, besides living in korea of course.

I've been with iKON since Mix&Match era and believe me when I say that they really took the long, bumpy road to success. Seeing them on stage with thousands of fans cheering them tonight makes me feel so proud and can't help but cry even though they are singing Sinosijak.

When they sang Climax, it felt nostalgic all of a sudden. For the past 4 years, the struggle they had been. I know that iKON deserve this love. 2018 is the year of iKON and iKONICS. NO LIMIT GONNA TOUCH THE SKY, WE WILL KEEP FLYIN.

How I wish time could just slow down for one night like how slow whenever I'm in class. How I wish I can see them everday like not just from the posters hanging on my wall. Being part of the red ocean gives an unexplainable feeling. How I wish this concert could be longer than its supposed to be.

As they finish with their last song, they ended the night by saying

"We will comeback again soon Manila".

-And I will be holding onto those words. I am hopeful to see you 7 again on stage until your next concert here on Ph.