Homer was at Moe's drinking with all his pals. Lenny scored a perfect game in bowling so they all went out to celebrate. He gave them Duff's all around chugging some in his trophy. He was also going to take them on a Duff tour we won. Homer couldn't wait for that.
"Congrats, Lenny." Moe said. "At least one of us isn't completely worthless."
"BURP. What about me?" Asked a really drunk Barney.
"Haha. Don't worry. I won't forget about the guy who spends Christmas with me after my attempted suicides." He patted Barney on the back. They were all watching T.V. while drinking.
"So Homer." Moe spoke to him. "I heard you've got a raise."
"Yeah. Burns gave it to me not long ago. It was for working hard and being miserable for Lisa."
"Really? Well, it's good for you to make her happy." Carl joined in.
"How have things been going between you two?" Moe asked
"Okay. Though she's much closer to Marge."
"Have you gotten her anything yet?" Homer shook his head.
"I don't know what to get her. Everything I like she hates. I'd get her anything though." Just then a commercial came on with a little girl and a man in a tie. He was throwing her in the air playfully a few times until she disappeared and the man started talking.
"I guess every father thinks his daughter is the cutest." Another man in a suit and brown hair walked over to him.
"Well, now there is a way to prove it." He said.
"Wow, President of Laramie Cigarettes, Jack Larson." The tie-wearing dad replied.
"This year Laramie is sponsoring The Little Miss Springfield Pageant. You see, government regulations prohibit us from advertising on tv." He took a puff of his cigarette here and smiled. "Ahh, that sweet Carolina smoke." He then showed the package of cigarettes. What a cheater! "But they can't prohibit us from holding a beauty pageant for little girls ages 7 to 9." This got Homer's attention.
"Lisa's age 7 to 9!"
"Your daughter could be crowned Little Miss Springfield by our host, the maitre'd of glee Krusty the Clown." The clip switched to Krusty who looked like he didn't have a clue what was happening or had anything to do with the ad.
"I heartily endorse this event or product." He said blankly. The clip then showed the little girl from earior wearing a pink princess dress and tiara and holding some flowers.
"What a feeling!" She said. "I'm as happy as a smoker taking that first puff in the mourning."
"That could be, Lisa." Homer said. But wait, would they accept a trans girl like Lisa? "Well, would they?" Homer talked to the tv.
"The Little Miss Springfield Pageant knows the world is changing, so we will now be acceping transgender girls at the same age ring.
"Woohoo!" Homer yelled.
"Only $250 dollars to enter." The commercial ended. Homer dug into his wallet, empty except his Duff ticket and a picture of Lisa. He couldn't use the money meant for Lisa's future, so where would he get $250 dollars? He looked over to a drinking Barney.
"Hey, Barney. Would you give me $250 for this Duff ticket."
"Duff? Sure." He handed him the money making Homer smile.
"Thanks, Barn. I can't wait to see Lisa's face. She'll be so happy."
"Are you crazy!" Lisa screamed. Homer returned home to tell everyone the news. "Why would you do that?"
YOU ARE READING
You Are Lisa Simpson
FanfictionLuke Simpson feels like there something wrong with him. That something is wanting to be a girl. For as long has he could remember he's had these problems and has become depressed. School isn't much help and he's too scared to tell anyone. Luke is tr...
