Painted In My Blood

Chapter 3: My Punishment.

It had been about four hours even since I walked up the stairs. There was to many sounds in the house to focus on just one. Kander had no doubt found the liquor cabinet, smashing bottles and screaming at himself.

    I had tucked myself into a ball on the mattress, waiting on his wrath to soon follow.

The steps were heavy, but his emotion was even heavier. He wasn't heartbroken, he was sad but not about Cloe, about something or someone else.

    Kander busted through the door, rage ready to fire. I didn't bother fighting him, I stood up and waited for him to hand me whatever punishment he felt I deserved.

   Kander pushed me back against the mattress, he was going to rape me.

   I thrashed under him, his weight more then my own. I scratched and pushed Kander away from me, crying as I did so. "Stop... Kander stop" I begged. Kander pushed himself against me, wrapping his hands into mine. "Stop what... I haven't even done anything yet". I bashed my head into Kander's, slapping him across his cheek as well. He paused. If getting a beating over being raped meant that I wouldn't be able to move or walk for a week then that's what I wanted over any contact with the man I hated so much.

   I could smell that alcohol on Kander's breath as he kissed me. He was still trying. I pushed my hands into his chest, "Stop" I screamed. Kander laughed, "I'm just getting started". He unzipped his pants, pulling my night gown up and past my knees. He slipped himself between my legs, feeling strong and hot at the same time.

   When the two of us were younger, Kander and I had sex often when our family fought, but now I couldn't stand the idea. "I love you" Kander said as he glared down at me. I closed my eyes, "Stop... Please".

--

Once Kander was done enjoying himself he crashed next to me. Still holding my hand in his. I just laid there, no pants, no underwear, just opened. "Cloe... I think we need to talk". I closed my eyes once again, now I knew he was drunk. "About what Kander" I said to play along with his ego. Kander sat up, kissing my hand. "I think I need to let Meadow go". I though about what to say, holding my tongue on what was really on my mind. "No... I think she'll be fine" I lied. Kander rolled over on his side, "She's suffering".

    I wiped my eyes from the tears that built inside them, "Yeah well maybe she should... Maybe she's done a lot of bad things to deserve this treatment". I had often felt this way about myself. Did I really do something so bad that my life belongs to hell. To live in hell. "Don't say that... She's not much trouble anymore. She's only here because of dad, if he was gone and I was alpha I would let her go... She doesn't deserve what she gets handed to her". I laughed, not meaning to.

  "What's so funny". I shrugged my shoulders, Kander and I were talking like we were lover again. Like he cared about me, but I knew the truth. I rubbed his hand with my small fingers, it seemed like something Cloe would do if she was here and not me.

  Kander sighed, "She was so pretty". I didn't speak. "She looked like the sun when we were kids... She was so tan and hot. To hot for her own good". I cleared my throat, "Yeah well she isn't now". Kander nodded, "I know, but I still believe under all the bad I've done to her she still loves me".

    I couldn't disagree with that, I did love him but I also hated him. I like to think he still loved me and now that he's told me so himself, drunk or not. If Kander didn't mean it, he would've never had said so himself. I licked my lips, "Maybe you should let her go". Kander didn't reply.

    I let go of his hand, glance over to where Kander laid. I got up from the mattress,  walkking over to the closet to sit down in front of the door. "Maybe I should stay here forever" I whispered to myself. I put my head in my hands, "I deserve to be here".

    My enter wolf awakened within me, "No... That's bullshit and you know it is... He's done this too many times to count, he beats you and what... You're suppose to love him back". I shook my head, "I don't care what you have to say... I don't care if you don't like what I'm doing. You get me in trouble and I can not wait to get ride of you" I added before pinching my skin. Kander turned on his side, laying his hand off the bed. He looked comfortable, his child like face burning into mine.

   I laid flat with the wooden floor, hearing the breathing of the house. I Closed my eyes for the night, dreaming of a better world where Kander wasn't my abusive Alpha and I didn't believe I should be stuck in here forever.

--

I didn't hear his feet hit the ground before he grabbed me up in his embrace. I didn't move against him at first, hanging onto his side like a small child. He placed his hand under my butt, holding me tight against himself.

    I peeked through the tiny crack I had between my eye lids, seeing Kander's expression as he walked down the hall. He was wide awake and feeling the hang over from his last night drinking experience.

  Kander lead the two of us down the hall, stopping when he reached his bedroom door. He moved his hand from under my butt to opened the door. Once he had done so he put his hand right back so that he could balance his weight even.

     "Meadow... I know you're awake, so open you're eyes" Kander said in a not so awake and even softer tone. I opened my eyes on command, seeing Kander greenish eyes sharpened my way. I didn't speak at first, half afraid and the other half still asleep.

     Kander stood in front of me as he placed me on the bed, "Did I... Did I hurt you last night..." he paused ashamed that he had done anything toward me that's sexual. "I promised you I wouldn't do that again... Not again and I had". I shook my head, "You didn't hurt me I swear... I won't tell anyone, I didn't make a noise" I cried. Kander dug his left set of nails into his right arm, blood started to pump toward the ground. I stood quickly, running to the bathroom to grab a towel.

      Once I found one, I ran back to find Kander gone and no one to fix his bloody arm. Did he feel bad, or was he disgusted with himself because of how nasty I was.

  I looked over to the bed side stand, seeing the clock, it was 4:50 am. I sighed, two hours and I'll have to make breakfast an deal with everyones crap at once.