Painted In My Blood

Chapter 12: The Reasons I Believe Why.

Kander's POV

Meadow stood beside me, looking down at the ground from the tree house. I couldn't stand heights, something about me being off Earth's surface and my fate in gravity's hands made me cringe in the thought of being so high.

   I could see the small brand on her skin peeking through her shirt. It was my mark, the family's mark. My father Hunter had forced me to do this act when we killed Mead's family in front of her. As much as I wanted to tell my old man to stick it where the sun didn't bother shining, I couldn't. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't want her to. To be with someone else's, to leave and find herself with someone better. Now that I look at her and all the harm I've brought to her, I often wonder if maybe she would've been better off Mating her prince charming.

She had been so good to me, always, even now with all the shit she taken day in and day out, she still looks at the world like she'll see every inch in the matter of a day. Is that what makes her happy.

I shook my head, removing myself from my thoughts. "Kander... Do you ever wish... Well, do you ever fell sorry for what happened between my family and yours". I sat down next to her on the porch.

  The truth was that my father had an ego a mile wide when it came to what he wanted. If he was told no, that only made him want it more, and when Meadow's father Aiden told my father Hunter that he couldn't grow his pack because it broke the treaty the two had agreed on, my father went and kill him and his pack so that he could calm it all. All the fighting and deaths were because of land.

   I cleared my throat, "Can we just sit in silence" I asked. Meadow sighed, biting the side of mouth. I could tell she wasn't let this conversation go, and that I would probably lose. I had to prepare myself for the times I had to let her win. I was so used to lashing out on her, it was like an angry beast I had to stop before I even stared at her, let alone talk.

  "I want to know...  Don't I deserve that much... I've waited so long for you to just tell me, and now that I've figured some of the fine print out for myself, you won't answer me". I rolled my neck side to side, rubbing the back  with the palm of my hand. when I found the answer,  I dropped my hand and sighed. "I'm sorry that you're family was the only one to suffer lose... Because my father was an asshole, I was to stupid and afraid to speak up... I'm sorry because you had to live through hell... I'm sorry for leaving you by yourself when you needed me the most... I'm sorry for being selfish, for never letting you go... I'm sorry for ever laying a hand on you, I can't control myself and I know that not an excus, but that's all I can say... That I'm sorry for ever meeting. I'm sorry for killing you're brothers..." I paused, my anger building inside. I was twitching uncontrolably. I smashed my fist into my knee. "Get her... She's crossed the line, grab ahold of her". I shook my head, "No... I won't hurt her". Meadow had paced herself apart from me, close to the ladder. "Kander, please" she cried. I stood slowly, putting my hands above my head. "I'm not going to hurt you". My wolf snickered, "Not that you can stop me, but you make it sound believable". I smashed my fist down once more, "Meadow..." I paused, feeling my urge to ither throw her from the tree house or bend her over the bed increase. My eyes changed on contact and my spin shifted to the side, "Meadow... You better start running".

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Meadow's POV

  I ran as fast as I could to the house, if I reached it, Kander couldn't hurt me. "You better put a little more pep in you're step... You can hear his bones right". I nodded, I could hear him changing from here. I was quite the distance away to be hearing that far. I stopped. "What if..." I paused. What if I was changing, would I know whether or not I was. "The answers no... You're on alert, not switching over". I rolled my eyes, "But what if I can". "Your not... Now start running before you get us killed" she pleaded. I turned back toward the gravel road. "If you won't let me change on command, then I'll make you... I'll do it myself".