I am, always, falling

07

Frio's Chapter.

-

"I heard you declined a proposal. Sayang 'yon pare,"

I looked at Paul and felt annoyed because of his annoying smile. Sanay na ako sa pang-aasar niya sa 'kin.. well we've been friends for almost 12 years now.

"Sino ba 'yung minatch sa 'yo? Si Clarise?" he laughed. I glared at him before eating. Clarise is one of those girls that I ghosted a few weeks ago.

"Si Stella. Okay na?" sarkastiko akong ngumiti. Napatigil siya at gumawa pa ng ingay dahil nahulog niya 'yung nyemas na kutsara. Napailing na lang ako sabay kain ulit.

"Bro! Da foooc! Hindi ba't-" I cut him off.

"Shut the f*ck up and eat." I told him.

Days passed by until dad asked me to come to an event again. Lagi namang ganito, tatawagan ako for businesses. I don't even feel the affection that I need from him. Since siya at si Syd na lang ang natira sa 'kin.

Mom passed away few years ago. I was seven and my sister was two back then. Dad became cold to us and always makes himself busy to forget my mother's death.

"How's Ateneo, Angelo? Was it nice?" dad asked.

I wiped the side of my lips before answering him, "Yeah, I guess." walang emosyon kong sagot.

"You should be like your brother, Syd. May kwenta kahit papano," he said.

Napayuko ako and felt that Syd looked at me. I always feel guilty whenever dad compare us. Hindi dahil sa mas pabor ako but I don't really like it when people compare me to someone and make them feel that they're useless.

"I'll try, dad." she whispered.

"Try? Susubukan mo lang, Syd?" he looked at my sister.

Nakita ko ang nginig ng kamay ni Syd. I wanted to help her pero mas masisira lang ang lahat. She glanced at me first before smiling.

"I.. I will, dad."

"Seith, nice to meet you pre." he offered his hand. Kinuha ko naman 'yon at nakipagkamay.

I was surprised when he started blabbering like Paul. They should be friends, siguro non-stop ang pag-uusap nila.

"Ateneo ka rin pala? Hindi kita nakikita sa campus!" he said.

I slowly nodded and awkwardly sipped on my drink. I started feeling comfortable to him at nagkwento na rin.

"I was.. you know.. arranged marriage with someone pero.. I declined." I said.

Napausog ako nang ilagay niya 'yung kamay niya sa dibdib niya.

"Ebarg! Bakit naman?"

"Ayaw niya sa 'kin e. Ayoko namang pilitin ko siyang mahalin ako," I smiled.

He started comforting me like an idiot but I can't help but to laugh. Masaya nga siyang kasama.

"Pre, paano mo malalaman kung may gusto rin sa 'yo crush mo?" he asked.

Crush.. ampt.

"H-Hindi ko alam. 'Di ko pa naramdaman 'yon," I laughed.

"Sino ba 'yon?" I asked again. Maybe I know her, pwede ko siyang ilakad.

He was about to speak when he stopped and smiled a little. Napatingin ako sa tinititigan niya and stopped too when I realized he was staring at her.

Gusto niya si Stella?

Tinawag ako ni dad para pumunta sa table nila Stella. I tried to talk to her pero siya ang umiiwas. I know she don't like me kaya sumuko na rin akong ipagsiksikan 'yung sarili ko sakaniya. Just to make her feel comfortable.

"Excuse me," I looked at her. Tumayo siya at dumiretso sa balcony. I don't know why but I followed her and she started cussing at me.

"Are you hooking up with Seith?"

Hopefully not.

"Why do you even care?"she looked at me, getting annoyed now.

"Cos I'm your ex fiancee?" I gathered all my strength to ask her that one. Jesus Christ, gusto kong bawiin.

"I didn't wore any rings before. So I don't consider you as my fiancee,"

Yeah, of course. I didn't gave her any ring.

"Then why can't you answer my question?" my heart was pounding, hoping she'll say 'no'.

Sarkastiko siyang ngumiti, "If yes, what are you going to do?"

I tried to hide my pain by chuckling and just shrugging my pain off. Gustuhin ko man siyang ipagdamot.. pero bawal.

I glanced at Seith, who's staring at her. I was expecting him here since nakita niyang pumunta sa balcony si Stella. I just don't know if he heard the whole conversation.

"Sila na pala? Ang hina mo talaga, Frio Angelo!" Paul laughed.

Umiwas ako ng tingin and tried to focus on my books but I still get distracted by them. I already knew na sila na, that's why I'm trying my best to forget my feelings.

"Kung pumayag ka lang noon.. kampante kang sa 'yo siya uuwi."

I still can't take my eyes off of them. They look so happy. I hope I am too.

I shook my head and took off my specs before massaging my head. Mas sumasakit ang ulo ko sa nakikita ko kesa sa binabasa ko.

"Mas okay na 'yung ganito." I said.

Mas okay nang magparaya, dahil alam kong mas masaya siya sakaniya. Mas gusto ko siyang makitang masaya sa iba kaysa sa ipagpilitan niya 'yung sarili niyang maging masaya siya sa akin.

All I want is that he'll love her more that I did for 5 years.

I'd rather watch her smiles.. even though I'm not the reason behind those.