Is This Really Real? (Billie Eilish)

Chapter |13|

Elle's point of view:

It's been a few hours since the boys left for Billie's celebration and I finally finished my essay on what events that had occurred in my life to make me who I am today. All I could think of writing about was the fact that my dad left once I found out that he was cheating on my mom for six years. The funny thing is, I never suspected a damn thing, maybe it was because I was young I don't know. About a week after my dad left my mom got into a relationship with some guy she hardly even knew, she began to disappear from my life. All she ever did was go to work and then go stay at her boyfriends place, she completely forgot about me and I had to take care of myself, be strong for myself, I had to teach myself things that our mother and fathers are supposed to teach their kids as teenagers, but I was only 12.

I guess now you can understand why I didn't want to have to write this essay, I didn't like thinking about everything I've gone through. It hurts.

I've been watching the walking dead for about forty minutes but couldn't seem to concentrate because I was in my head the entire time. Turning off the tv I pulled out my phone and went to Instagram. Scrolling through my feed I stopped when I saw a post from Finneas, Billie's older brother.

The post was a picture of him and Billie posing in front of the balloons that spelled out 'Congrats on 16 million!' Seeing this had only made me feel more upset than I already was before.

You see? Would I have been better off not meeting Billie? Not having that incident at the coffee shop, or even coming out of my room that evening. Maybe if I stayed in my room asleep I would've saved myself from feeling like this, all of this over her. I want to message her and tell her how much I hate her right now, to tell her I never want to see her around or anything, but I know I can't do that.. the guilt would eat me alive. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if this is really real, my life, my friends, that fling I had with Billie, was and is this really real?

Groaning I shoved my face into my pillow, maybe I just need to get out of here, go visit my mom for a week or something to get a break from all of this. I haven't seen her in a while. We need to fix things.

*** *** ***

I was startled awake by my bedroom door opening and the blue haired girl stumbled in,  I don't remember falling asleep. What the hell I don't even think I'm awake right now.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I spoke surprised and confused but the girl only made her way to my bed. Is she drunk?

"Eli and Isaac let me come over, I just wanted to see you," Her blue eyes stared right into my brown ones, if she wasn't drunk I would hug her and tell her how much I've missed being around her.

"It's late, and you're drunk. I thought you didn't drink?" Getting out of my bed I made my way towards Billie, steadying her. "God, you reek Billie."

"That's so offensive, I'd like to think I smell very.. yeah," she sighed leaning into me, "I don't drink, but there was a chance and I took it because I made a mistake."

"Yeah no, you smell like ten cans of ass. You're definitely going to take a bath." I sat Billie down on the end of my bed before walking into my bathroom, turning on the light then getting a warm bath running.

"Ten cans of bounce that ass," I heard her hiccup then giggle, "What mistake did you make?" I spoke louder so that she could hear me but I guess I didn't need to because when I turned around I saw her standing in the doorway.

"I've made two mistakes, I should've just said yes to giving us a real chance. It's fucking killing me not being able to see you every chance I get." She shuffled closer to me, her hand making its way to my cheek and I closed my eyes for a moment but remembered that she probably won't remember any of this tomorrow.

"What's the other mistake? Take off your shirt." I asked politely and the younger girl was now wide eyed.

"I'm not getting naked, what the fuck do you think I am? A stripper? Jesus fucking Christ." She ignored my question. Why?

I laughed at her tone of offense, "I don't think you're anyone other than yourself, come on, you need to take a bath. I'm not leaving this room until you take your clothes off and get in the bath."

"We're not even together and you're tryna fuck? Ayo! this bitch tryna fuck!" She called out for the boys and I rolled my eyes, covering her mouth so that she won't speak. "No, I'll leave the room if you'd like while you get undressed until you're in the bath. I don't think I should leave you in there unsupervised though, you could fall asleep."

"Fine." Billie shrugged her shoulders before taking her shirt off right in front of me, revealing her perfect skin and the curvature of her body. It took a lot but I turned around and shut the door. After a few minutes I heard splashing of the water as she got in, then she said she was done so I went in, the curtain was closed half way, the only thing I could see were her legs.

"Thank you for cooperating, did you have fun at your party?" I leaned against the bathroom sink, facing the towels on the opposite wall.

"It was okay." Water splashed inside, she's washing herself, good. I wasn't going to have to do it for her.

"Why just okay?"

A sigh escaped the ones I lust for right now, "It wasn't what I was expecting, the entire time I was looking for you. Smiling at me, waiting for Finneas to shut the fuck up with his soppy sibling story so that I could get a congratulations from you."

As much as I hate to admit it, I kind of like drunk Billie. She's speaking her mind even though it will make her vulnerable., she's not usually like this. I wish she were.

"I like it when you actually speak what's on your mind, even if you are drunk." I admitted.

"I'm sobering up, I'll remember this tomorrow."

A sigh of relief was what was heard from me, I wanted to talk to her about us, or why she came here instead of going to her own house but I was not going to abuse the fact that she's drunk just to get answers.

"Are you done?"

"Yeah I'm done."

"Okay, I'll be out there in the room. I left you some clothes, they're mine, but I hope they fit you. Shorts and a t shirt. There's also a towel too." I said before walking out of the bathroom and sitting down on my bed. She can stay here for the night, but what happens tomorrow when she's completely sober?

The door opened after a few minutes, revealing the 18 year old in my clothes, looks like they fit. My mouth fell open with awe at how stunning she always is but I quickly caught myself and closed my mouth. "Ready for bed?"

"Yeah, I really am kind of tired." She stretched, her hands running through her dark blue hair. She then made her way to me.

"You can sleep on the left, I usually sleep on the right."

"Can we cuddle?" She asked as we both got comfortable into bed, I already turned off the light, what harm can cuddling do?

"Sure." With this she moved closer to me, wrapping her arms around me, I turned so that I was facing her. This is more comfortable. I felt relaxed as I laid in her arms.

"I miss you," she whispered, I was about to speak but small snoring was all I heard. She misses me..