The Hired Girlfriend (Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter Twenty One

• Chapter Twenty One • 

Harry's P.O.V:

It was strange being with the boys again and Noel not being there. On a number of occasions I've been completely helpless and mindless, honestly it's quite embarrassing. For example, the other day, there was a large mass of fans heading in our direction and I put my hand behind me, thinking that Noel would be the one to catch it and run ahead with me. When I realised no one was clasping my hand, I'd look back at the faceless blur of girls and remember that she wasn't there.

The boys have picked up on it. They've observed when I see something funny I call over, or look for her but then sadly realise that I can't show her. Is it pathetic that I've developed this attachment? Personally, I think not but it does scare me just how much I do miss her company. It shouldn't feel like this.

Deciding not to sit here and feel sorry for myself, I picked up my phone and dialed her number. I haven't slept well so I'm assuming my voice will be incredibly hoarse and rough, although she does tell me she loves the sound of that in the morning. After five dials I knew she wouldn't be answering any time soon so I hung up and went back to the previous researched information. I was five hours behind so if my calculations were correct it would be around 10:45am. I had just missed her. She was in her interview that determined her future plans.

It was everything she ever wanted. Everything she ever hoped for. Everything she ever knew that she wanted. It left me wondering whether I fit into all these plans. I was never apart of her big life plan. I'm just a phase in her life, a moving part which normally I'd be fine with, I would understand. But knowing that I wasn't Noel's future seemed to affect me. It would be too selfish to ask her to sacrifice everything and run away with me. Was that even what I wanted?

Will I continue on with my day and not feel the way I feel now?

"Harry cut it out." Liam said, distracting me from my day dreams. I remembered Noel's tear stained face in the airport. I know that she only cried when I left but I ran out to see if she was there and the strong angel I faced moments before was weeping. I was hurting her the way I was hurting my mother. Regret sank in and I didn't end up kissing her for the last time. Instead I left her alone to her own mind, where I wanted to leave her in peace.

"Huh?" I asked groggily, completely unaware of what he had just said. Liam rose from his seat and snatched away the phone before me on the table. My attempts to retrieve the phone from him were embarrassingly unsuccessful. "You've been staring at the phone for three hours." Three hours. Her interview had concluded a long time ago, so why hadn't she called me back to tell me the news?

I could see the sympathetic look in Liam's eyes. All the boys wore the same mask, and I noticed that they were cautious with their words as though they were walking on egg shells around me. It frustrated me how much control her absence had on me. It's like I'm incapable of eating, sleeping and moving. Without her here I have no motivation. I can't sleep because it doesn't make sense to sleep without her in my arms. Once you experience heaven, you can't settle for anything less. I've realised how perfectly she fits against me, I love that.

At that exact moment the phone began to ring. 

I was paralyzed for a moment. I didn't know what to do. I had been waiting for this moment which seemed more like a lifeline now and I was completely numb. In defeat and slight pity, Liam released the phone from his grip and told me to answer it. "Hello?" I croaked, hoping this wasn't a dream.

Then her sweet sweet voice greeted me. Her voice made all the panicked thoughts seem irrelevant. She made me feel like everything was going to be ok. "Harry," she laced my name with sweet trills. I quickly got up from my seat on the bus and hopped off. We had stopped at In and Out burger for a slightly early lunch. All I was capable of replying was with, "You called." The tone in her voice changed. "I know it has taken me a bit to call you back. It's just with everything, my mum invited people over and its been busy. This is my first free moment to myself since it all happened and I wanted to talk to you."