Tears and Goodbyes

A New Beginning

Hey, have you ever felt it? An unending emptiness? A space in your heart that can never be filled?  A heartbreak without a cure? I am not willing to accept that our story has ended so easily.  They say that destiny has weird ways to work its charms. I couldn't have known if I hadn't met you then. It was a stormy night just like tonight. I don't know if that was the day we first met or we have known each other for a long time,  but one thing i know for sure is that that was the day our story began. A story that makes me sad and happy at the same time. A story that breaks my heart and brings a smile on my face everytime. I remember that day as if it was yesterday. When I close my eyes,  I can still feel those winds, cold whispers and find myself gazing at the blurred cold night sky. I could bet the night and I kept staring each other with nothing but our bothering loneliness. I remember my heart racing and my willingness to live being shattered. The shivering night and those silent melodies are still intact in my memories. And that very moment when i found the courage to end it all and my body reacted to it, just about to jump off that bridge, a soft voice brought me back to sense. "Please don't do that"-these four words changed everything that day. For a slight moment, I felt everything stood still. The silent whispers had stopped and I could feel my heart beats calm down. And when my eyes finally met yours,  I could feel all my pains vanish away. Those were the most beautiful eyes in the whole world, I could guarantee that. Speechlessly,  I kept gazing at your running towards me with that blue umbrella of yours. Besides, what could I possibly say to that anyway. That moment. I was grateful for the rain because you wouldn't see my tears. When you stood there beside me panting and out of breath, my tears stopped on its own. The next thing that happened will never be erased from my memories. Without a prior warning, you slapped me straight across the face and stomped your feets looking at me and yelled, "Are you stupid?". I could try and justify saying that I was taken by surprise. But if I'm being honest with myself, I did not know what to say to that. Deep down,  I have always known myself to be the stupidest person in the world. I make stupid mistakes and get disheartened easily. Even that day, I was looking for an easy escape from my life. The next thing I remember is you dragging me off that bridge and looking into my eyes. I still remember that reassuring gaze,  which was filled with nothing but care and compassion. You appeared as an angel to me and every word you said that day bloomed a flower of hope in my heart. I'm still watering that flower knowing thats what you wanted. You told me that life is precious no matter how we look at it. Sometimes we all feel like its over and nothing can ever fix this. We keep shedding tears finding no way to heal our broken heart. You told me that it's never going to be easy, but what matters is that we don't stop living and loving. There is always be someone who will draw a rainbow in your gloomy sky. Someone who will make you happy with every passing moment. Someone who completes the rest of your broken heart. Then you held my hand and smiled,  the most genuine smile I have ever witnessed and told me that you want me to give my life another chance and to try and find the happiness just once more. These words started healing my wounds but I couldn't even express how I was feeling. Your smile spreaded a indescribable warmth all over and I couldn't but embrace that warmth tightly. That night I wanted to ask you a lot of things, but i couldn't. I was enchanted at your angelic charm and speechlessly kept looking at you. And when I was finally able to open my lips, the only words that came out were "Thank you". You smiled looking at me, "You are welcome only if you never do these stupid things again" and then walked up close and whispered, "And stop crying please. I hate tears". Don't know why but just a moment ago I was on the verge of shattering everything apart and now this felt like the best night of my worthless life. It all felt like a new beginning for me and you changed my whole story in just a few minutes. Then when I calmed down,  you asked me why I was doing that and I was unsure how to respond to that. And when I was about to say something,  you stopped me and with a graceful smile replied,  "Hey,  how about we continue this tomorrow? Same place,  same time?" I just nodded smiling as I would get to see you again. Without waiting for any other reaction, you waved and started walking away. My eyes followed you for a while until I finally realized it was almost sunrise. Looking around,  I started walking back home with a new ray of sunshine in my heart.