Tears and Goodbyes

You put a soft smile on your face and looked at me, "Love, there is something i have never told anyone but you deserve to know, I was born with an unknown syndrome. I had a weak body and my cells werent durable enough. As I stared growing up,  the symptoms started getting worse and my doctor told me that I won't be alive to see my 24th birthday. Remember,  how we always met in the night? I was never allowed to go out in the sun. I couldnt stay out for long time. And i used to get tired a lot easily. That's why I never had any friends. I always wished that if only I could live longer, start a family. I wanted to have children of my own and a husband who would love me like I mean the world to him. I wanted to live, is that too much to ask?", you started crying hugging me tight and my eyes started tearing up.

I was shocked at how cruel the world is to kind people like you. "Love,  I'm so sorry about the way I left. I didn't have any other way.  That night I wanted to tell you how i felt about you,  I wanted to tell you everything. I was so excited and happy that I stayed away after sunrise. At first I thought it wont be a big deal but then the symptoms started worsening and I got really sick. I knew i couldn't drag into my life anymore and I decided to go away. I never thought you'll come all the way here,  just to see me dying.",your kept on crying, "My life ends like this, with all my dreams still unfulfilled. Hey, do you think i will turn into a ghost and get stuck here?  Do you think there is anything called peace after we will die? Where will my spirit go. Love? Is there anything down there at all? Or will it just be a painful emptiness?" I knew how you were feeling. You had all these piled up in your heart and didn't have anyone to tell them to. I felt bad that I let you go through all of these alone. If only I could have been there with you,  when you needed me the most. My mind was numb and I couldn't possibly know what to say to you. I wanted to talk to you then and forever.

There was so much I wanted to say,  but i couldnt. I just hold your hands tightly, "Hey, if you go to the other side. A beautiful heaven is waiting for you. You have an angelic heart and you have shown nothing but kindness to me. But you aren't dying, love. You taught me how to fight and I know you are the strongest person i have ever met. This is just another struggle and we will get through this." I hold onto your hand tightly looking into your eyes, "I got you,  love. You don't have to be afraid anymore."Holding your hands tightly I kissed you on the forehead and I saw you smiling a little. Then, I felt your grip weakening and my heart started to get shattered into a thousand pieces. With a graceful smile and tears dripping down from your eyes,  you looked at me,  "Good bye, love.  Thank you for being here with me" With these words your eyes started closing and in that moment my while world broke down. I screamed as loud as I can, tears drifting from my eyes. "Please don't do this. Please don't leave me alone.". But i knew this was pointless, but i couldn't stop my tears from falling. I didn't know if I can ever get out from this.

I want you to know that i had found the person who drew a rainbow in my gloomy sky. You were the one who made me happy with every passing moment and you still keep making me happy. I never asked your name but I always keep cherishing all our memories together. You changed my life, filled my heart with love and then quietly walked away to a different world. But you left behind what I will never forget, you were my soulmate, my best friend and you meant the world to me. Without you,  I can never be complete.

No matter where I am,  there will always be an empty space in my heart. Maybe our journey together is short, but life is hardly defined by how long we live. It's always about how much of an impact we make and love,  your life was worth living. You were an angel among humans and you deserved a happier ending. But what i learnt from all these is that life is too short to live regretting. You made me understand that no matter what happens, life is too precious. I have loved you and I will always love you. Not sure if my heart will ever heal. But i will always keep cherishing these moments we had together.