My Real Fairy King

Hyde-Endings and Beginnings

"Jackie" I mumble, the words twisting in my throat. "Look, we need to talk". She looks at me sullenly, but I can tell she picks up on my expression. "What is it now, Steven?" she replies, less than amused, but it's better than the insult I half expected. She still knows me so goddamn well. For better or worse.

Realization dawns on her face, slowing twisting into embarrassment. "Oh god, did you hear what I said to Michael?". "Every word" I say, a bit smugly. "No-no Steven, it isn't true-I just didn't want that doofus all over my expensive new panties!" she stammers, but her expression gives her away to me. "Jackie". God, couldn't she just be happy that'd I'd heard? It was what she wanted, right? "Look, HYDE, whatever? It's cool. Doesn't matter what I want. Not like you still want me. If you ever did, that is". I brush the hurt away, that she could ever think that, that she'd call me Hyde, just like I was one of the guys when she sounded like she wanted me so much just before, and I struggle with what to say next. Is it worth being a complete mushy wuss? Just this once? How can I even make her understand? But all that comes out is a condescending "Read between the lines, Jackie". I immediately know I've said the wrong thing. She looks at me stony-faced and starts to turn toward the door. Well. If she's not gonna give me the chance to talk, I'm not gonna do it. "Well, I see how it is. Bye, Steven" she says, like there is a lifetime in that sentence. Like I'm never gonna see her again. And the door slams.

Damn. I'm gonna lose her again. Before I know what is going on, I feel my eyes getting wet. This can't be happening. I don't cry. But that doesn't change the fact I am right now. She can't see me like this. And can I even do it? Go after her? Actually say something nice for once? For some reason, I faintly recall the last thing Bud said to my mom before walking out on us. I struggle through ten years of hazy memories to remember. "Let me leave, goddammit! I'm not letting myself be tied down to some bitch I've never loved. Not to mention your stupid son! And I've got a world to see, so you're not going to stand in my way" I remember how the harshness of those words killed a part of me that day that I never recovered from. How much I....swore I wasn't going to be like him. You know what, no. If I was going to cry and act like more of a girl than drunk Forman in a dress for five minutes, it's worth getting Jackie back. Because all I know i that I love her. I chase after her, thirty times faster than I ever ran in gym class. Luckily, she hasn't gone far-she's still in the driveway with Leo, looking she is trying to get him to help her escape as he shoots hoops backward. Yeah, that's gonna work. Thank god Kelso drove them here earlier. She looks up at me reluctantly as I make my way over to them. "Hey, Hyde!" Leo says. "I'm just watching loud girl play basketball!". "That's great, Leo". I reply. "Here, why don't you sink this shot?" I say, tossing the ball as far away as possible down the street. Luckily, he does what I hoped and chases after the ball. Well, here we go. I look back at her. "Jackie. Just let me talk, okay?". She sighs, "Steven- "No". I interrupt. "How could you think that? I meant what I said about Sam when we were drunk, alright? And look, I trust you now with Kelso. Even I'm not fucked up enough to not after that little conversation you just had. I'm sorry for ever doubting you. But honestly, it was hard to after what happened in Chicago. Still, that's no excuse". By now, I can read the first signs of sympathy in her eyes, but I keep going. Not enough, some tiny Forman-like part of myself tells me. "I figured I could get you back by staying with Sam, you know? Hurt you the way you hurt me first. Get over you quickly. But it didn't work " I add, disgusted with myself. I want to leave more than anything, go wipe off these tears and feel like a man again, but I force myself to stay. "It's the nurse all over again, Steven" she says softly. "No, Jackie, you know what, no! Sam was the kind of chick I always imagined myself with, before I met you, okay? Just scummy enough for me. I figured I'd be able to forget you, make it how it used to be. Before Veteran's Day". She stares at me, barely able to hide her shock. "Veteran's Day?". "Okay, so I lied about not feeling anything then! Shout it from your cheerleader rooftops! Since that day, nothing has been the same. I tried to hide from it at first, but obviously that didn't work for long. You saw what happened when everyone went to California. And clearly I was right, because marrying Sam didn't work! I just wanted to be with you! I tried to hide it with whatever, but nothing happened! God, I'm sick of this shit! It'd be a whole lot easier if I didn't care, but Jackie, I just wanna be with you more than anything else! You know what, I love you!" I scream, angrily trying to brush the tears away. Stupid, stupid tears.

She stares at me, dumbfounded but happy. "Really? So you're not gonna pull any of this again?" I just roll my eyes, gesturing at the tears. "What do you think, Jackie". A second later her whole expression changes and she looks happier than I have seen her in months. The "you're my hero" way she used to look at me. And my cold blackened heart becomes warm and fuzzy knowing I did that to her. We walk back down to the basement joined as one. "Steven Hyde, I think....I love you! I have never heard anything so romantic in my whole life! You're crying over me! " "Jackie. I don't cry. Fez cries, I don't. Got it?" I say through my tears, not even trying with my Zen. She just gives me a knowing look. "You're crying cause you love me! Cause you wanna be with me! You still care about me!" "Shut up, I'm not saying it again" I reply, trying really hard not to smile. "You shut up, you're ruining it!" she says, cupping my face with her hand. At that point, it's like we're two damn magnets and we fall into each other, not caring we're on the couch or that anyone could come down or frankly, anything else in the world. In the end, we did that old couch so dirty, it had to be replaced. Red was so mad I thought he was gonna put a foot in an ass for real this time (who would have thought it'd be me before Forman). But I mean, who cares if a stupid couch has to be replaced. I have Jackie back and that's all that matters.