Clary Tells Jace Sebastian Kissed Her (Shadowhunters TV world, not books)

Clary Tells Jace Sebastian Kissed Her

"Jace, it's Clary. Can I come in?" Clary waited at Jace's bedroom door. She had woken from a nightmare, she knew he'd be up. She had to tell someone, and who else could she trust?

"Sure, you okay?" Jace's voice was muffled through the door.

Clary's hand rested on the doorknob before she turned it slowly. She had only been in his room a few times. She took a moment to look around, hoping to memorize it somehow. Jace's back was to her, he was slipping a shirt over his head. She stared at the hard muscles under his smooth skin for a moment before she quickly closed the door behind her. She kept her back to him. Now that they were no longer siblings being with Jace alone made Clary nervous. After the kiss in the Seelie Court it made her doubly nervous. "Jace, I know we just figured out Sebastian is my brother... I have something I need to tell you, well I need to tell someone, and I know I can trust you." Clary breathed. Her hands shook, she was overly nervous.

"What is it, Clary?" Jace turned to face her, he caught his breath when he saw she was in her pajamas. Her hair was unbrushed, and her hands were shaking. Slowly, Clary turned around, she was chewing on her lower lip. He waited for a response, but she didn't answer. She wouldn't even meet his eye. "Clary, it's late. Is something wrong?"

"Well, yeah. I didn't think much of it before, but now that we know what we know... Something's bothering me." After speaking she walked towards him slowly, her voice dropped to a whisper, "This is between us Jace." Clary finally met Jace's eye, she studied his face.

Jace realized there was hardly any room between him and Clary, looking into her eyes he closed the gap. "I won't tell a soul."

Clary had hardly heard him, she could feel the heat radiating off his body. Her eyes stared into his, she forgot how intoxicating his presence was. She looked at his shoulder and whispered, "After Sebastian came to the institute he asked me on a date. I was seeing Simon, I said no. The other day, he kissed me. He just came to my room and we were talking. He grabbed me and kissed me before I could stop him. I pushed him away but Jace, he kissed me." Jace caught his breath and turned his head away from Clary. "Why would he do that? He knew I'm his sister, why would he kiss me?"

Jace didn't move. Clary could see his jaw clenching, his hands turning to fists, she felt the wave of anger come off his body. Involuntarily Clary took a step back, "You're angry with me. You're mad I didn't tell you?" She couldn't bear for Jace to blame her for this.

"No," Jace choked out, "not you. You did nothing wrong." He slipped his hands around her waist, hugging her tightly against him. He was careful to not hug her too tightly, he didn't want to ruin this moment so he forced his hands to sit on the small of her back. She hugged him back and breathed a sigh of relief. "He's got demon blood Clary, he's sick. You did nothing wrong."

Clary laid her head against Jace's chest. She felt her heart pounding, they hadn't been this close since the Seelie Court. She felt guilty about Simon, he meant so much but Jace was different. Clary felt Jace bury his head in her shoulder as well, his face was wet. Jace couldn't believe she didn't feel comfortable telling him this before. Thoughts raced through his head of all the things he could do to hurt Sebastian, stab him, burn him, drown him, or choke him an inch within his life and then do it all again. Clary reached up and touched Jace's neck. "Jace?" In a moment, his anger was nearly gone. All he could think about was protecting Clary.

"He didn't do anything else did he? You're okay? He never hurt you?" Jace held Clary's face in his hands, their foreheads pressed together. His eyes stared into hers. Clary saw the tears on Jace's cheeks. She didn't speak, she couldn't. She shook her head and let him pull her into another hug. This hug was different, Jace was desperate for her. His body shook as his hands roamed from her face to her neck, her arms to her waist and back. Clary could feel the heat of his hands pressed against her, moving against her body. In this moment she knew she was safe, she pulled Jace as tight to her as she could. They pressed against each other as hard as they could, Clary thought she may bruise but she didn't care to stop. Jace's hands kept roaming Clary's back, waist and hips. Hers knotted in his shirt, and then his hair. Jace pulled away enough to meet her eyes, "I swear to you Clary, he will never touch you again."

Until this moment Clary thought she wanted someone to confide in, now she realized she wanted Jace to care for her. She let out one sob after another, slowly her knees collapsed and she fell into Jace more and more. Her resolve had fallen away, she felt herself breaking. Jace caught her swiftly, lifting her off her feet. He walked to the small armchair in the corner and sat down. He cradled Clary, she couldn't catch her breath. As she sobbed she croaked, "I lost my mom, and then I found her. I gained a brother, my mom died and then I lost you too. I thought I could change him, but he... He..." She stopped. She couldn't breathe. Jace held her, he rocked her back and forth, he cooed and pressed his head into hers. Clary's sobs slowed, she gave herself over to the rhythm of his heart. She pressed her head into his neck to feel his heartbeat on her cheek. She laid there, letting him hold her, she almost felt whole.

"It's not your fault Clary; what he is, what he did is not your fault. You did nothing wrong. You are perfect." He sucked in breath quickly, he hadn't meant to say that. He closed his eyes tightly. She stiffened at his words, she had lost herself in the moment. She hadn't meant to cry, or to let him hold her like this. She sat up realizing her compromising position. She started to blush when she saw how her shorts were riding up, how the strap of her tank top had fallen around her shoulder. She glanced at Jace, wondering what he thought of her like this. She saw how tightly his eyes were closed, and took the moment to study his face. He was completely still.

Clary whispered, "You think I'm perfect?" She reached up to touch his face, slowly she traced the outline of his features: his eyes, his nose, his lips. "You think I'm perfect."

Jace opened his eyes, "I know you're perfect, although incredibly frustrating." Clary's finger had rested on his bottom lip. Jace's breathing became ragged, his eyes half-lidded but they stayed on Clary. Jace's eyes moved over her slowly, he wanted her to touch him back. Clary watched his demeanor change, he was desperate for her touch again. She could see it written all over him, he couldn't hide it if he tried. Clary decided to oblige. She let her hands run over his shoulders, his neck, she let her hands move on their own. The whole time she watched his face. He couldn't hide how much he wanted her, how much he just wanted to sleep next to her, to hold her, to succumb to her every need. He stopped her hands on his heart. "Will you stay with me tonight?" Clary's eyes grew wide in surprise, "No! No, I want to hold you."

Clary nodded slowly, before she could stand Jace lifted her up. He carried her to his bed, "Do you need anything? I can get you water, another blanket?" He laid her down slowly and walked to the other side of his bed.

"No, I'm alright." When Jace laid down, she curled up against him. They both gasped as their bodies fit together. Their hearts beat hard against their chests, and yet they soon fell asleep.

~ ~ ~

When Jace woke, he reached for Clary but all he found was empty sheets. He pulled them against him, and could smell her shampoo. He smiled absentmindedly. He reached for his phone, on it he found a message from Clary.

Clary: "Thank you for last night, for listening and asking me to stay. I had training early this morning with Izzy. I didn't want to wake you, you looked peaceful. We'll talk about us later."

Jace wondered if their talk was going to work out in his favor, in this moment, it didn't matter. All he could think about was Clary's breathing against his chest. He pulled the sheets against him and held them tightly, the smell of Clary's shampoo intoxicating. He closed his eyes, and let his memories take over his mind until he could no longer ignore his duties.