"I'm not the monster on the inside." • [Tom x Reader]

𝟝. What Caused Me to Be Like This...

{warning: mental trauma}

Last chapter;
"You know Tom.. I care a lot about you and I will understand everything. So... can I ask how you can turn like this and why those guys were at the door..?" I asked him.

Toms pov

I sighed when I heard her say that. I did want to tell her but what happened to me is uncomfortable for myself to remember again. But I'll do it for her so at least someone knows.

"Those guys are from a army. A deadly one. Their leader was someone I never got along with but he was friends with the other people I was friends with. We were all roommates before he left for about 7 years before returning and blowing up the house... after that he kidnapped me because I am very different from other people, different blood, different eyes, so he experimented on me... for a very.. long time..." I sighed looking down. I tried to not tear up as I talked to her but I couldn't help but let more tears out. "Just all the pain they put me through, everything that I felt I can still remember. Just seeing those people fill me with so much anxiety because I escaped from that army. They are trying to get me back to use me for more experiments or as a 'super weapon' they call it," I said using air quotes, "but after a year or two of running from them that's when I moved in with you, to help myself be more hidden along with.. being with someone I loved for a long time.." I spoke.

I felt y/n wrap her arms around me and tightened around me. I hugged onto her back tightly and buried my face into her shoulder as I couldn't help but shed a couple of tears. It was very hard to think about that again. It just brings back so many memories. Being chained, needles constantly going into me, the pain of turning into whatever they wanted me to be, just everything was so traumatizing...

"I'm here for you Tom.. ok?" I heard y/n say. I felt her rub my back and gently sway. "Thank you for telling me this Tom.. just know, whatever happens, I will always be by your side to help you. No matter how difficult the situation is." She says as I then felt her other hand hold the back of my head.

Just hearing her soothing voice helped me calm down. I just kept my arms around her tightly as I honestly felt like I never wanted to let her go. She was the only person there for me, the only person who understands me and allows me to show my true feelings. If I did this around my other friends, one will hide while the other will not know what to do. The only time they have ever seen me cry is when I'm drunk or before I shot Tord out of the sky with my harpoon gun. Unfortunately that fucker survived.

"Hey.. want to go out tonight? Maybe for dinner, actual dinner instead of pizza or fending for ourself's?" Y/n suggested. I slowly pull away from her and felt her cup my cheeks and wipe away my tears. "Yeah.. that sounds nice." I said as I placed my hands on top of hers. She leans towards me to kiss my head, I let her as I closed my eyes while she did.

"How about we got around seven o'clock? Deal?" Y/n says to me. I nodded and I soon hugged her more tightly and lay down with her while holding her close. I just needed someone with me right now.

I felt y/n softly play with my hair as she let me rest my forehead on her chest. I curled around her to just hold her. "I love you Tom.." y/n whispers to me. "I love you too.." I quietly whisper back to her.