The Walking Fanfic (Camila/You)

Chapter Seven

When you wake up the first thing you see is Camila with her head laying on your chest and her body snuggled as close to you as possible. Then you hear a voice, and nearly fall off the bed, waking Camila up in the process. 

“Aww look the sleepyheads are finally awake!” Jake says looking at you, holding his phone up. 

“Jake what the fuck! Are you taking a video??” 

“What’s going on..? Y/n why did you jump? It woke me up” A tired, confused Camila said while rubbing her eyes.

“The girls and I decided we should document you two waking up from your first night together. So when you guys tell everyone that you’re a couple we can put it on vine!” Jake exclaimed answering you. 

“The girls? Are they here?” Camila asked. 

“They just went to order room service for breakfast, I was left in charge of recording” 

“Okay wait. WE don’t even know if we’re a couple yet, so how do YOU guys know?” you said, a bit annoyed.

“Oh err, sorry it’s just I assumed, because she slept over.. And you’re just SO charming” he said, trying to recover and get on your good side by complimenting you. Turning off the video quickly. 

“Oh don’t be sorry Jacob, I assumed too. Guess we were both wrong” Camila said, getting up and walking out the door. 

“Sorry..” Jake said again. 

“No don’t.. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I need to go find her and figure this out though” 

“Good luck, we’ll keep the food warm if it gets here before you two are back..” He said, frowning. 

You opened the door and it didn’t take long to find Camila. She was sitting outside the door with her head in her lap.

“Well you didn’t get very far..” You said.

“I don’t have my room key” she answered. Not looking at you. You sighed.

“Look, Cami.. I didn’t mean it like that. I meant we never really officially did establish a relationship between us” 

“We kissed!” 

“That doesn’t always mean you’re dating” 

“Well I wouldn’t kiss someone that I wanted to just remain friends with..” 

“Ok well-”

“And we slept together. Like the same bed. Cuddling” 

“I’ve slept and cuddled with people I wasn’t dating..” 

“Y/n, you’re just making me like you less right now if I’m being honest with you..” 

“I’m just trying to explain myself. Okay.. Look.. I’m scared. Scared of being hurt. And I’ve had a lot of exes and maybe I even played with hearts a little in the past and that isn’t something that I’m particularly proud of and you may hate me after hearing it but I have to tell you if I have any chance at getting you to understand. I’ve been hurt. So many times. I’ve been broken, you know that. You read my letter. You know that somewhere somehow something went wrong in my life. And you know that despite never having met me you saved me from myself, which is crazy because the only other person ever to be able to slightly do that is Jacob. My theory was that if I stepped on enough flowers and broke enough hearts I would forget that all that’s left of me is broken parts. And I wanted so desperately to change that way of thinking. I wanted to so bad because I realized it was wrong. It was wrong to use people to try numbing myself. I got a bad reputation and everyone left me except Jacob. I don’t even have my parents by my side anymore. They kicked me out. Completely disowned me, they didn’t want a lesbian for a daughter, let alone one that used people. I was wrong and it took me hitting rock bottom to realize that. It probably sounds like I’m telling you a sob story now.. But the point is that last night, being with you, kissing you, I felt like a completely different person. A better person. I like me a little bit more when I’m with you. And in those moments last night.. I knew it was time for me to stop being so scared of heartbreak. My biggest fear is putting all my effort into you, and then you leaving, and that would literally suck because you could break my heart into tiny little pieces and I’d still pick them up and put them back into your hands. I’m just scared Camila. You are the whole ocean and I am a tiny raindrop and I will never ever be good enough for you. You could always do better. I always push people away, and I don’t want to push you away because you’re all I’ve wanted for so long and it sucked because you never knew that I existed and that hurt me so much but perhaps what hurts more now that I think of it is being so close to calling you mine but being too afraid to. I’m sorry” you finished, with a single tear rolling down your cheek. Camila looked up at you with wide eyes, full of new knowledge she never  could’ve imagined about you before. She looked down for a minute concentrating, trying to figure out where she wanted to begin with her reply to you. 

“You have no idea how much I like you, how much you make me smile, how much I love talking to you, or how much I wish you were mine.. I would choose you in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you, and I would choose you. I’m not going to hurt you. I want to show you off, I want to tell people about you, bring you around my family, do whatever with you. And I know I want you. I can’t stop myself from liking you. You were the first thing I thought about waking up, the last thing I thought about before sleeping. And suddenly all the love songs were about you. I think that’s all a cliché from somewhere but it is completely true. And lately I’ve been thinking about you a lot. Probably more than I should be. But I just completely can’t stop. I have no control. You are the person I will never stop looking for in a crowded room. And the only hand I ever want to hold is yours. I know you’ve been hurt. I don’t know how yet, but I plan on sticking around to find out. I want to prove to you that I won’t ever hurt you. But I need to know that you will never hurt me as well. Because I can’t make all these promises to you and invest myself in someone who doesn’t want to be invested in me. I need to know that you’re really ready to change and open up and let yourself be loved. If you’re ready to do that then I’m ready to show you all of the things that you deserve. I want to be that person for you, but you need to be that person for me too” Camila finished, taking your hands in hers.

“Okay.. I’m ready, and I want to be with you” 

“A hundred percent?” 

“A hundred and ten percent” She smiled. 

“Okay” She whispered, looking down at your hands with hers.

“Cami?”

“Yeah..?” she looked into your eyes. Nervous about what you were about to say. 

“Will you officially be my girlfriend? I want to know you’re mine and mine only. And I want to take you out and holdyour hand in public and let myself be happy with you”

“Yes! Of course, obviously!” She said, with a big smile on her face. 

“When do you leave Chicago?” 

“Friday..” she said, biting her lip thinking of having to leave you.

“Are you gonna have to leave me..?” 

“Unless you could come with me back to L.A. somehow. We just have a few shows there for like a week or two, til like mid December, then the girls and I have holiday break” 

“I could come if you want me to” 

“Are you serious?” 

“I wouldn’t joke about something like that” you said, laughing. 

“Ohmygosh yay!” She said, tackling you in a hug. “But it’ll take some convincing with my manager.. We should get on that” 

“Can I take you on a date tonight first though? It could kinda be a way of letting the public see us, then tell the Harmonizers in a livechat, your manager would be bound to see, then we could just call and explain everything and then you can ask” 

“I would love to go on a date with you” She answered smiling, “You’re quite the smart one too aren’t you?” 

“I’m just good at making secret plans” You said laughing. 

“Well.. I’m STARVING. Let’s go back in and get some FOOD. I saw it get dropped off like, 10 whole minutes ago!!” She exclaimed. You just laughed and said “Alright cutie, let’s eat” and grabbed her hand before reopening the door to your hotel room.