The Chatroom

Chapter 19

I heard Niall leave this mourning. He thought I was asleep so he came in and said his goodbye's. He said along the lines that, "I will miss you and hope to see you soon. Good luck on the X-Factor." Then he kissed my lips lightly.

I let a tear slip out of my eyes and quickly wiped it away after he left. I heard him and Louis walk out and then someone ride up, then take Niall. I have been sitting in my bed, cuddling in my duvet. I am still practicing my song for the audition and a tear always ends up slipping out of my eyes.

I get up to go use the restroom. Of course I don't want to face the world outside my room so I go to my secret hideout underneath the house. I walk into the room and go to the restroom. As I finish my business I look at myself in the mirror.

I look like crap.

Like, my eyes are puffy and blood shot red. There are stray tears on my cheeks and my hair is a knotted mess. As I splash my face with the warm water I let one last tear slip from my eye. I don't even know why I am crying. I havn't even known him that long. I dry my face and trudge to the kitchen. I pull out a bag of crisps and a can of lemonade from the fridge. I shut the door and go back to my room. I close the door behind me and make a running start to my bed.

I hop onto my bed and start getting comfortable in my duvet again. I get the remote to my iPod dock and press play. The song, Dance Dance by Fall Out Boy starts playing from where I left off. I turn it up all the way as I rest my head against the pillow and open my bag of crisps. I munch on them while taking a few sips of my drink. Once I am finished I throw them across the room and into the waste basket.

Why am I acting like this? It's not like we were dating or anything. I should be sad, but not depressed. I am gonna see him tomorrow at the auditions so I should just go out and enjoy my time. It's only 1:00 PM , so I have plenty of time to do whatever.

I slowly get out of my bed, without making it. I walk to my closet and pick out a white t-shirt crop top with no sleeves. Written in the front is Wild Child in colors of the rainbow. I picked out a pair of dark wash jean short shorts with a small rip on the right side that's supposed to be there.

I got my undergarments and went to the restroom to take a quick shower. If I was in there longer than 10 minutes, it would be hard for me to get out.

I took a quick shower and changed into the clothes I had already. I went back into my room and threw my clothes into the hamper and went to get a belly ring. I picked out one that had a blue ball on the ends. I screwed on the ball and went to the mirror. I looked at myself and I couldn't even tell that it was me.

You could tell I was crying and I couldn't even bring myself to smile. I pulled a funny face in the mirror and I laughed at myself. Whenever I am sad or angry I pull a weird face to smile at myself, it helps me be myself again.

I comb through my hair before curling my hair into loose curls. I slid on some white TOMS and grabbed my phone and lip gloss. I walked downstairs and saw Louis sitting on the couch eating noodles. I walked to the bowl to get my keys and 50£. "Hey, can I talk to you?" "Er, sure. I was just about to leave, but okay." I took a seat across from him and then remembered something. When he took a breath, getting ready to talk, I interrupted. "Hold on, I need to go do something."

He nodded his head and I jogged back up stairs. I pulled out the foundation, eye liner, and mascara. I put all of them on before looking myself over. I looked at myself and felt incomplete with my look. I looked through my jewelry box and found a necklace that said, Wild in cursive. I clipped on the silver necklace and when I felt satisfied with my look I went back downstairs.

I sat back on the recliner and looked towards Louis. "What's up?" "I have been leading you on and I just wanted to say-" "You weren't leading me on." I said in a bored tone, looking at my nails. I knew he was about to tell me that he and Hannah were dating.