Broken Pieces [Shisui x Reader]

Broken Pieces

Name; (L/n) (Y/n)

Age; Seventeen

Personality; Depressed, distant, cold

Status; Shisuis' caretaker (Still Jounin, but not active.)

Shisui was released from the hospital, and (Y/n) appointed herself as his caretaker. His mother had offered to take the position, but (Y/n) was a Ninja, whereas Shisuis' mother had never fought a day in her life.

For obvious reasons, it had to be a Shinobi that cared for Shisui. Of course, he got no say in any of this, he was just told what would happen and had to go along with it. He knew he deserved this, he put Itachi, (Y/n), and his own mother through a world of hurt, so he didn't bother trying to argue.

A part of him felt that he would only drag (Y/n) down in this condition. She could no longer go on missions, so neither knew what she was going to do for money, but she knew she could figure something out.

Six months passed, and Shisui and (Y/n) had hardly talked about what happened, she just helped him when he needed it, and cooked for them, cleaned, and took him out around the village a few times- once his casts were removed.

He couldn't see anything around the village, sure, but he could hear everything. Birds, kids, couples, laughing from friends. 

He could feel the wind, brushing against his skin, flowing through his hair. He could feel (Y/n)s' arm around his as she led him around, which was his favorite part since she hardly touched him these days.

He missed her being sweet and friendly with him, and that all stopped the day he jumped. She used to hug him, tell him how much she loved him, hold his hand, smile at him. 

He couldn't see her smile, that's true, but somehow he knew it wasn't there. He could no longer hear that laugh or any playful tone in her voice. 

He was convinced. He had broken her.

In knowing that, he was broken as well, wanting only to experience her happy side again, but he wasn't so sure that side still existed. Even when he tried to joke around with her, she never laughed. Usually, her response was something like 'That's nice, Shisui', and she would go on about what she was doing.

If he tried to put his arm around her, she would find an excuse to walk away, either cleaning something, or looking for something.

He kissed her once, and she hasn't let him do that since. She usually isn't standing still long enough, and he knew that was the reason.

It wasn't just her that was broken. They were broken. He wasn't sure why she was still there. If she no longer cared for him, why not leave and let Danzo have what he wants?

So that was what he asked her.

"What?" She asked, dumbfounded at the 'suggestion' that popped out of Shisuis' mouth so casually over dinner in their apartment.

"I said, if you don't want to care for me anymore, then why not let Danzo kill me?" He shrugged.

She placed her chopsticks down, "Uchiha Shisui, if anyone is going to kill you, it's going to be me." Shisui stiffened at her completely serious tone. "You are the biggest pain in the ass that I've ever met. You put me through a world of hurt, I thought I was going to lose you. I would have if I hadn't detected your Chakra signature in distress. You would've died, and left me here alone! Eventually, I probably would've killed myself, or I would've died in battle due to lack of sleep or food! If you aren't here, Shisui, I don't want to be!!" He hadn't even tried to say anything during her rant, he was too stunned. 

"You need to get it through your damn head that I can't and won't live without you! If you're fed up with me not showing any emotion with you, then you need to stop acting like it didn't happen! It did! You never said sorry! You never even implied it! Everything you put me through and- and it seems like you don't care!"

"I- (Y/n), you're right. I'm sorry. Of course, I care. I didn't realize there was any question whether I did or not."

She opened her mouth to respond, but couldn't find the words, the tears streaming down her cheeks as her resentment toward the Uchiha in front of her was shown clearly on her face, though he couldn't see it.

"I miss you, (Y/n). I miss kissing you goodnight. Sleeping with my arms around you, hearing you laugh, even just talking to you." The desperation his voice held conveyed his feelings toward the matter. He wanted her back. He wanted them back. "I love you, (Y/n). You're the girl I've been through everything with. I told you I want to marry you, remember? I still do."

"If you would have died you wouldn't have had the chance. Did you think of that when you took that jump?" He flinched. 

"You're right. I'm sorry...that would've affected your future, not just mine..."

"It still did affect my future. I stopped wanting to love you so I wouldn't get hurt." His heart dropped at this sentence, and the flat tone she used when saying it.

"Y-You stopped...?" He stuttered, his head feeling light suddenly.

"Wanting." She corrected quietly, "To love you."

"So...there's a chance?" He breathed.

"If you don't ruin it." She stood, picking her bowl up to carry to the sink.

"I won't. I'll make this up to you."

"You'll never make it up to me. You may be able to make me forget, but you broke the most important promise anyone has ever made to me." Her flat tone didn't lessen at all.

"So you don't think anything of what I did could've helped the village at all? Itachis' Mangekyou, getting rid of a potential target like me who a rouge Nin could've come after for the price on my head? Now you can't even go on missions! How about the fact that Danzo would've- no, still would kill you if you got in the way of him killing me!?"

He heard the sound of a crash behind him, and he flinched as he did. Since she was in front of him, at the sink, he realized that she had thrown it past him. "YOU THINK I GIVE A FUCK WHAT HAPPENS TO ME, SHISUI!? I HAVE ONLY EVER CARED ABOUT YOU! YOU ARE THE ONE IMPORTANT PERSON LEFT IN MY LIFE, SHISUI! I WOULD GLADLY DIE FOR YOU!" 

He was dumbstruck. He also noticed her lack of past tense. 

"You talked me down from making a similar mistake, remember?"

"Yes..."

"If you hadn't, 'we' would've never been a thing. Then again, you wouldn't have had the chance to break me this far."

"What...what do I need to do to fix us, (Y/n)? I'll do anything..." He pleaded. 

"...I don't know, Shisui. I really don't know." She walked past him, picking up the shards of the ceramic bowl she had thrown.

As she walked past him again, headed to the trashcan, he grabbed her wrist, "...Say it...?"

She knew what he meant, and even if she didn't want to say it right now, a part of her wanted to pick up their broken pieces as well. "I love you, Shisui. I hate you, but I absolutely love you." To emphasize her point, she kissed his forehead, slapped his cheek- to which he flinched, murmuring a small 'ow' -, and then left a lingering kiss on his lips.

After (Y/n) washed their dishes- well, what was left of them -she helped him to get ready for bed and they slept a little closer that night. Still not touching, but baby steps, right?

As I said, a part of her wanted to pick up those broken pieces, but a part of her wanted to simply throw them away.

She'd had broken pieces before, and she hated the feeling.

She didn't feel whole.

She didn't know what she felt. 

Not exactly.

Broken, yes.

But also numb.

Very numb.