A Chubby Girl's Diary

7/22/2020

Summer started, now no online school for me. Lucky right? No not lucky, staying at home sucks. I really should update this more but hey, who cares.

You don't.

I find it easier to tell people I don't know my life problems. Maybe because they don't know me so they can't judge me. I mean unless your stalking me.

Haha! You not stalking me, I'm to fugly for that stuff. I mean if you saw me, you would run in terror.

Should I give you anime recommendations? Music? Mangago.me recommendations?

Since i finished school for the year, I have done nothing but watch YouTube and read.

And cry.

And not crying because I feel sorry for myself, not because of all the deaths. But because something sad happened in a book, movie or tv show.

How pathetic can I really get?
I have this friend, he's really funny and is tall. He constantly makes fun of me, but since I'm so happy go lucky at school, he never thought twice about how I was at home.

That is until I told him. Then he started to feel sorry for me. Saying he never would have thought that I was crying, I haven't cried in front of anyone for ten years, how lucky.

I know that crying doesn't mean you are weak, but I still feel like if I cry in front of someone they will see me as fragile and treat me differently.

I still feel like I have an emotional problem.

I want to love someone. But I fell like I'll never meet them.