Pernico/perjasico/pernicleo/Jercy oneshots

The bitterness of being left behind (pernico) pg-13 for good measure

Hi guys I know it's been a long time. I've come a long way since I started this book and my writing has too. I hope that because it's been so long you don't hate my new writing style but I'm up it's 4 am and I want to write this so here it is.

Percy is again pretty normal in this book however as is kinda normal for me he is a bit shorter and skinnier, and he has snakebites and several tattoos. Everyone in this story is over 18 just so you know. And Nico is the same? But older? Happier? He's been through a lot of therapy on his own and so he's a more mature and may I say taller and more buff version... hehe

The water of the lake glittered with the reflection of the first rays of sun. The dull ache of Percy's eyes and head from lack of sleep made his vision blur together until it almost could've been the sun he was looking at. He was cold and alone and that was about the extent of his feelings. Not that he didn't have more but they had been closed off and shoved so far back in his mind that he felt numb and he figured that was better. Percy had been left by many people in his life. Before his big reveal as a demigod and the prophesy he had always had to deal with the fact that his dad had abandoned him and while he had his mom things were never easy. Especially after Gabe moved in and made both of their lives a living hell. He would make friends in school only for their parents or teachers to decide he wasn't a good influence and so his friends would back away and often he would be expelled and just move schools entirely. So he was used to the sting of rejection. This last one had caved in his already shattered heart though. He couldn't even think of grey eyes or of blonde princess curls always up in someway "to be practical" he can't even say her name or the emotions rip and tear at the box they're locked in at the back of his mind. He knows if he says her name he'll cry and that isn't something he has the mental capacity to do right now. He doesn't know why it hurts so much he doesn't even know if he was ever in love with her or that they ever should have dated... but she was his best friend, his patience, his other half, and she never wanted to see him again. They had tried after Tartarus really they had held each other though the panic attacks, provided food, shelter, and safety. They had saved each other more times than Percy could count, but she had started to fade under the panic and PTSD and Percy couldn't help that he had been there... he wouldn't change it even now, because they were both alive and the war was won, but at what cost to him. He lost everything now... he had a huge neon target on his back for any enemy of the gods and so he couldn't return to his healing mother with her new husband, new kid, and new life. Though he loves them more than anything now. Everyone had split up to heal and to recover but Percy was stuck. He couldn't seem to do what the others were doing. This was the only place he had ever been happy or made friends. So here he was. He hadn't seen her since she told him she was leaving and she asked for a clean break. No calls, texts, or any social media and certainly no meeting in person... and he didn't know what to do. The only person he had come to depend on left him... he found that when his vision cleared it was bright daylight and people were up and moving about camp. He also found that his face was wet. Tears. His mind provided so he quickly dried them and stood up from his cross legged crouch. He stalks over to the tables to get something to eat though his stomach revolts he doesn't want to and won't miss a meal not when he's been so desperate to eat that it hurts and not had anything. But sitting at the tables meant seeing another person who's presence was hard to bear at best. Nico. Now Nico hadn't really done anything to cause this kind of reaction from Percy. His anger at Percy has mellowed out with age and maturity as he realized Percy had done everything he could and had barely made it himself. But Percy couldn't help but feel like he'd failed him,, and as the boy turned into a man Percy couldn't help but feel a slight attraction towards him. He had gotten taller, a lot taller, and Percy had to look up a bit to look him in the eyes now, not that he wanted to. Nico's hair is longer and pulled back into a bun of sorts, and his dark eyes hold more mischief then anger and sadness now, which makes Percy happy. He's also filled out... a lot his work with the sword must really have paid off. Percy understandably feels guilty for his attraction,,, for many reasons. First off he was a kid when they met and he knows realistically they're like what 3 years apart not unreasonable, and by now they are both over 18 so it's not an issue but still odd for him. Two when he started feeling the attraction Percy was still with HER,,, and it couldn't help but make him feel like an awful person. Third he knew that Nico had a crush on him when they were younger and Percy hadn't reacted badly in fact it kinda made him giddy but Nico had moved on and found Will. It was public knowledge that the two had broken up later on but still why would he still like Percy when he had moved on? And lastly Percy was having a constant case of identity crisis he had been attracted to men before but he had HER and had decided not to think about it, but after being with HER for years and even the kisses they shared felt empty he had to wonder... was he gay? And If so how would everyone take it? His mom? His new stepdad? His remaining friends and the people that knew him and HER and said their names like they were literally conjoined? They would think he was cruel to be with her while questioning... and maybe he was in a way... maybe that's why she had ended it so suddenly and cleanly... maybe she already knew. By the time Percy's thoughts cleared he was seated at the table across from Nico. This wasn't unusual they hung out quite a bit now, especially with him and will broken up and no jealousy in the way. Nico looked up for the first time, and his expression changed from alrighty mischievous but tired to worried in a half second. "Hey Percy... what's going on you don't look to great" Percy looked back fighting between telling one of the only people he had left the truth or gritting his teeth and lying behind a smile they would both know is fake. "Being away from her i don't know, it both confuses me and also feels freeing being with her was all encompassing and we hadn't been apart since we were twelve and now she's gone and I don't even know if I ever loved her... I mean I did as my best friend but I don't know if it was ever more than that for me... I mean we hardly even kissed and I didn't even feel anything when we did... is that why she broke up with me? Am I broken?" He says sincerely taking Nico by surprise. "While I can't answer all of that for you you're not broken Percy. You're wonderful, and maybe it just wasn't right maybe it was forced and rushed into maybe you just didn't fit... but based on the way you're talking and having know you for a very long time now I think you already know what's going on... you don't have to tell me... but I'm a lot more mature and better at this than I used to be and you're very important to me so just let me help you..." Nico says back black eyes burning holes into Percy's. "I... I don't know how to say it I don't even know for sure... but I... think I may be gay... like you..." he says very quietly both thinking and not wanting to be overheard "OH" Nico says a shocked expression on his face, then hopeful, then serious. If Percy had been paying attention he would have noticed the blush decorating his cheeks lightly,, but Percy was glaring daggers at the table actively avoiding Nicos gaze. "Ok,,, so what is making you think that? And how long have you been thinking about this..." he asks trying his best to be there for Percy. "So obviously kissing HER felt like nothing... I experimented a couple of times in high school before she and I were together and I always felt something then... and I guess I've always noticed guys..." a bright blush started across his face to his ears and down his neck. Nico was not staring at the table and definitely caught the reaction.... ohhhh he though this could be what he has been waiting for... he's been in love with Percy Jackson since he was 10 years old. He tried to date Will he really liked him even but Will knew he still had feelings for Percy and when time went by and they didn't go away Nico was honest about it and they broke up amicably still friends... but now... he actually had a chance now... "Percy... there's no chance that you... like me... is there?" He asked uncertain he didn't want to press the tentative trust he was receiving here. Percy wasn't usually this open. "Uhhh" Percy seemed to have short circuited his blush getting darker and if that wasn't an answer Nico didn't know what would be. "It's ok Percy I still like you too." He said smiling softly trying to calm the older boy. "You... you do? Still?" Percy asked seeming very surprised but a new glint of hope was in his eyes and it made Nico smile wider. "Yeah I do you dumbass" he said reaching across the table to ruffle Percy's curly dark hair. "Umm ok then... where do we go from here" Percy asked genuine he hadn't ever had to shift through all this before... "I guess you could start by letting me take you on a date." Nico says smile still in place as a matching one slowly starts to form on Percy's as well. "Yeah... I mean yes... I... I'd like that a lot" he stammers out. "Alright does tommorow at 5:00 work for you?" He asks Percy knowing it's soon but too eager to wait longer than that. "Yeah... yeah that sounds great" Percy grins softly still blushing. Nico leans over to press a kiss to his cheek quickly before he leaves for training and Percy squeaks and tenses up. Nico giggles and Percy laughs,, and that's how they get together. They go on lots of cute dates and Percy even plans some of them though Nico is clearly better at it,,, and honestly Percy feels more holding hands with Nico than he ever did with her... and maybe she was right this is making him happy for the first time since he was a very small child and he finds he almost forgets the pain associated with her.. he misses his best friend and he probably always will but now he's got a shocking handsome boyfriend who everyone apparently had expected him to get with for months who was also his new best friend, and they both made a promise to never abandon each other even if things didn't work out. However neither of them foresee that being an issue.

Hope you enjoyed the longest and most rambley chapter yet... please enjoy the cuties! Happy ending, and the whole 2073 words.