Breakdown One Shots

Loosing Sleep

I can't even remember what it was about, but I remember the feeling it left me with.

I woke up terrified and in a cold sweat; jerking away from the warm body curled against me. I couldn't feel anything but the frigid air returning to my lungs like I was drowning a second time. The blanket covered the lower half of my body, but it gave me no comfort, just a light pressure over my legs.

The room was dark, and silent except for the tapping of rain against the glass of the window on the right side of the room. The tapping felt so loud in my ears that it caused a pounding in my head.

I was sweating bullets so heavy that my pale black hair stuck to the back of my neck and over my forehead rather than sticking up like it usually did.

The room was unclear, left in grey, black, and dark blue hues. I could see rough shapes but nothing clear past the foot of the bed. I would have gone diving for my glasses if it hadn't been for something to block the light filtering through the room.

My gaze snapped to the window where a cold, empty gaze of deep blue eyes met my pale steel blue ones.

They were clear.

Clear as crystal despite my god awful vision.

The eyes were connected to an... incorrect version of what looked like a person. Unlike, the eyes the body was fuzzy and unclear as if it were merely a melted or frozen blob.

The body was pressed against the window despite living on the 8th floor. I reached backward, never looking away from the being, but my hand frantically battering around the table beside the bed for my glasses.

When my hand gently brushed against the thin silver lenses, I gripped them harshly and pulled them up to my face, pushing my hair up. When the clarity of the clear glass washed over my vision, I sucked in a frozen breath so hard that it hurt.

The creature was in fact trapped in a frozen state of decay with icicles dripping off the flesh pulling away from its body. It was so cold it slowly layered the window with a thin sheet of ice. Despite that, it was still wiping crimson life over a foggy wisp of breath against the glass pane. The scariest part however was their eyes.

When I took the second look at their eyes it brought tears to mine. Those eyes were the same light sky color as a pair of eyes I'd looked into not even hours ago. I would swear on it.

I couldn't look away, but I pressed my hand to the cold skin of that very person sleeping beside me and whispered.

"Help..." I muttered softly as if I realistically thought that thing pressed against the outside of the window was actually the person lying beside me. It was stupid, they were fine, I muttered incoherent words of fear and the tears kept falling till I harshly gripped their arm.

Meanwhile, the thing began scraping the glass. I could see it's nails chipping off it's body and I felt my breath get tighter. Any minute now I'd go into a panic attack I was sure of it.

"Please wake up... please wake up" I pleaded quietly as I violently shook their arm. I said it again a little louder. When they didn't budge: real, foolish,+ fear took over my actions. The only thing I could see was the body outside the window.

"Belek... Belek please..." I begged as I finally tore my eyes away from the nightmare. I looked down at what I only envisioned as a stone-cold body. His head was underneath the pillow and he was covered almost completely by the blankets except for the skin I'd been shoving on. I kept letting the ice shards of my fear fall against the unmoving frame as I rocked his shoulder back and forth again.

That's when I was suddenly plummeted into the nightmare I woke up from earlier.

I was drowning beneath pinkish, foggy, waves and I was alone. As the water filled my lungs, red flower petals bloomed out like the metaphor of my very life was leaving my body. Then I realized I wasn't actually drowning alone.

Belek was not even six feet away. He was in far deeper than I was, and his own crimson flowers were slowly floating to the top. I was freezing and I couldn't reach him. It was too late as I desperately tried to reach out to no avail. His eyes were closed, and his ginger hair slowly turned white from the cold. His body froze and I could feel mine dissipating too.

"Belek! Please wake up!" I was only pulled out of my head when I heard my own voice calling out and replied to with a gently aggravated groan of displeasure. I felt the empty pit in my chest start to rise again with hope. I was filled with so much sudden emotion that I felt like I might vomit. I rocked him again, much harder this time, till he pulled the pillow off his head and leaned up.

"Hey, hey, babe, I'm up, I'm awake" he said in quiet frustration. When he slowly opened his eyes and looked at me: and all the irritation, sleep deprivation, and color drained from his face. His eyes were full of vibrant sky, ocean and silver colors like he had the entire planet in his eyes. Most of all he looked alive... and worried.

"Whoa, Rian what happened? What's wrong?" he asked in panicky breaths as he reached out for my face. I broke down and wrapped my arms around his shoulders; holding on like my life depended on it. My eyes shut tight as if I was gonna find out this was another nightmare. Belek went temporarily rigid before he gently pulled me into his lap, also wrapping his arms around me.

"There was this... and it was... but you were... the window... and I just" I started rambling. Belek shushed me quietly and traced his fingers along my bare spine. I couldn't stop the sobbing, even after I had to pull off my wet and fogged up glasses.

This wasn't the first time this had happened. I felt Belek twist slightly to probably look at the window even though he knew there was nothing there; per the usual dilemma.

"We're on the 8th floor babe... nothing can get up here without using the stairs" he said with a gentle and calming chuckle. There was still some concern in his voice and I slowly opened my eyes again to look at the window where the creature had simply disappeared.

I sat there for a second, just feeling the heat Belek always radiated.

"I know... I think I'm ok now..." I said softly.

There weren't a lot of words from Belek for the rest of that night, mostly just listening. He patiently cuddled me while I explained my nightmare, and never once complained as I calmed myself down. When he'd finally gotten me to agree to sleep, Belek wouldn't let me go. He took off my glasses and pulled my forehead flush against his collarbone. He whispered about nothing at all till I finally fell asleep.

Even after all of that, I remember walking into the kitchen the next morning even more. Belek was already awake. He was cooking breakfast like he does every once in a blue moon. More than his cooking, I noticed the anturiums were nothing more than an empty vase in the sink, and for some reason... it made me smile.