To Throw It All Away

Chapter One: A Big Joke

*Author's note: Chapter One is finally here! I've rewritten it about 2839283 times, but I finally know what direction I want to go in with this story. Hope you enjoy it and stay tuned for Chapter Two!*

“I’m gonna swiiiiiiiing from the chandelier, from the chandelier!” Mom sang along to the car radio in her scratchy, off-key singing voice after we dropped Maddie off at the dance studio. It was so weird watching her go without me. She was still mad at me for quitting, giving me the silent treatment around the house. Abby had been miffed at our whole family and for once in her life, my sister wasn’t the “favorite” anymore. Maybe now she’d get a taste of what the rest of us felt like. “I’m gonna liiiiiive like tomorrow doesn’t exist, like it doesn’t exist!”

“Mom, stop.” I groaned. Listening to her sing was like hearing an animal get run over by a car. She needed to take a voice lesson or two.

I’d come out with my own album but Mom never bothered to listen to my songs. She secretly thought it was stupid. The CD sat on top of our living room stereo, collecting dust as the years went by. I wasn’t exactly super proud of my nine year old singing either, but she could at least try not to rub Maddie’s successes in my face. Though it was three years old, Chandelier still played on the radio every now and then. Mom would always turn it up super loud and sing along, especially if Maddie was in the car. The video was both of their proudest moments and it was as if my album never existed.

Being thirteen now, people often mocked me for my Girl Party album. At the studio, people would always pull it up on their phones and dance around stupidly to mock me. The fame of Dance Moms definitely got to my head and I was rocking on top of the world at the time, thinking becoming a singer was a smart idea. Now I was just a washed up former reality TV star. After the show ended after Season 5, we faded out of everyone’s lives. My Instagram was no longer spammed with likes, comments and edits. I decided to delete my account and start over. All the good usernames were taken by people in the fandom so I decided to make an alias. ValerieTucker71. I only had about one hundred followers, mostly people I knew and a few random middle-aged men who followed teenage girls. I’d only get about ten likes on every pic, mostly from my mom. Life after reality TV was lame, but I was glad the show ended.

After watching Paige, Brooke and Chloe be destroyed by Dance Moms, it was good it got cancelled. Nia recently left Abby’s to go to a new studio and Kendall’s family moved to Nebraska a few months ago since her dad got a job there. The original team was dead. Maddie was the last girl standing. I couldn’t take it anymore.

Since I wasn’t dancing anymore, Mom made me tag along to all of her errands. Today we were going to the grocery store. She had a mile long list of things she needed so we’d be there for a few hours. As if to torture me, as we went down the cereal aisle, Chandelier came on the store radio.

“Hey Kenz, look what’s on again!” She didn’t get how much I hated that song. Hopefully she wouldn’t start singing out loud again.

“Mom, I want to make another album.” I blurted out. Her reaction was a chuckle as she took a box of Honey Nut Cheerios off of the top shelf.

“That’s cute, Honey.” She didn’t understand that I was being one hundred percent serious.

“I’m serious.”

“You already made an album. It was just for fun.” Not even my own mother took me seriously. Everyone thought I was a big joke.

“I want another.” She laughed off my request once again.

“We don’t have those kind of connections anymore. Besides, we’re a normal family now, remember? You’re not a pop star.”

I guarantee that if Maddie wanted to make an album, she would’ve pulled out her phone right then and called someone to make it happen. When it came to me, nothing mattered. I was only the unintentional comic relief. It sucked.