Reminiscing

Chapter 12 My broken heart and my punishment (Ian's's pov)

Remember this is continuation of when Ian asks Andrea to bring Ray back to the office.....

I was bit disappointed, it was Rhianna she is the one who knocked the door , she is walking towards me with a bright smile on her face so now I am curious. "What is that making you smile Miss Rhianna" . She stood Infront of me and staring at me like she doesn't understand my question. "Ah... We got three projects approved on the row sir because of the EIC meeting thanks to Mr George". "Wow that is really a great news Miss Rhianna this weekend we gonna have to celebrate this and one more thing this is my party so I will take care of all the expenses, so um.... Where is Mr George? Is he on the way or he is already here". I search on her back whether he is hiding on her back or something but he wasn't and I cocked my eyebrow quizzically at her. "About that um.... Mr George said he is going to take rest of the day off today because he is exhausted so.... I interrupt her "yeah yeah it is understandable let him take a day off it is not gonna affect anything so let it be it's fine". I smiled back at her to hide I am really worried about him."um.. Miss Rhianna just let him know that we are throwing a party this weekend so he can join us". She was confused. "But sir you can say that yourself to Mr George when he is back". Oh god Rhianna I don't even know whether he is going to talk to me or not I am not even sure whether he will be there tomorrow. I said "yeah... Yeah your right I can invite him by myself thank you Miss Rhianna" . "Congratulations once again sir" she replied me back she was trying to take the next step to leave. "Um.. uh... Miss Rhianna is that candidate is here I mean that woman who you have send to me replacement of Miss Brianna...." and then it hit me where is Bri where does she went I think Rhianna or Andrea must know the answer for this because they are the one who pushed my princess into my office so I asked her. "Hang on sec Rhianna I need you to answer my questions about Miss Brianna where is she ,Did she really come here to the interview or She didn't even show up to my office because of her stupid games Rhianna?" She was getting nervous by my tone her hands are starting to shake she is holding her file close to her stomach like she gonna crush the file into pieces. " Where is Brianna Miss Thomas" I asked her more firmly . She got really nervous she is sweating and I can sense the fear I just stare at her by cocking my eyebrow. She finally opened her mouth. "eh.. um.. (clears throat) Miss Brianna said she doesn't want this job..." That really shook me. I open my mouth to say something but I couldn't I don't know what to say or ask her but I finally cut my thoughts and asked her. "May I know the reason that why she didn't want this job I mean if you really know the reason you can tell me if-
"Yes sir I know the reason" she cut me off and i took a deep breath even though it is already breaking my heart still I wanted to know the reason so I asked her "what is the reason then" I didn't realise even I am sweating I can feel my palms are slippery and it is because of the sweat.. I am getting really tensed by the silence she is giving me just tell me the reason god damn it I yell at her in my head. She finally broke the silence.. "as you know before sir she doesn't like you that much and on top of that she gets to know the incident that happened last week and she also get to know that some people resigned their job and due to that incident you also fired your assistant". Fuck!! how can she know about this, who have said this to her it should be someone in the work place. It should have been confidential. I know she doesn't love me but she will have a bad impression about me now. I got out of my thoughts and asked her "did she said who have shared this incident to her " she frowned and she said "no sir she didn't say anything about that to us and Andrea even try to convince her that we will pay her double the salary that if she accepted to work for you but she just said she will not take this job after what has happened last week and we couldn't able to inform you before because she just left" I don't know what to say whether I should be worried about this whole situation or be happy at least now I get to see clearly that she doesn't really had feelings for me or that I assumed myself about her before. I don't know what we had in between us was it love or lust but that bond is broken now. I am feeling like I came out of the toxic relationship even though I never been in a relationship before. I should let her go now she is not for me I should get that in my mind. When I finally clear my head and saw Rhianna still standing in front me waiting for my permission to leave I said "you may go Miss Rhianna thank you. "Yes sir" she mumbled and left my office. There was a sudden urge to shout , I wanted to scream from my lungs I wanted to hurt myself for what i have been through since she left me. I had some hope in the corner of my heart but she just ripped that away from me.

I wanted to hurt myself I have to do something for this I have to punish myself by saying that I started to search for something that can take the pain away from me I started to search any sharp instruments but then I thought why should I hurt myself for her she doesn't even love me she doesn't even care to come and meet me. How can you do this to me Bri. How dare you do this to me Bri with that thought, I lost it I smashed a glass pen holder on my mahagony table. It cuts my palm deeply the blood is gushing out of the skin I can't feel any pain the only pain I am feeling now is the shallow pain in my broken heart I feel like something is so heavy in my heart and I couldn't even breathe I am feeling really heavy I am managing to breathe it is paining Bri. Is this feeling called love if this is love I don't want this I am really scared to be in love. I can't deal with this and I don't want too I didn't realise that I was sitting on the floor and I am seeing my bloody palm. The only thing I am hearing inside my head is Brianna her name I was keep on repeating her name inside my head. I heard a knock some where but I didn't care about it I keep repeating her name in my head by seeing my wounded palm but then the door opened I didn't care to see who is it "Sir" I heard the familiar voice and I finally turned I saw Andrea staring at me by closing her mouth with her palm in shock and I thought Andrea is the only person there but then my eyes caught her blue eyes. She was there looking into my eyes she didn't give me any reaction she was just staring at me her eyes didn't even see my hand she was just seeing me she was trying to convey something through those eyes we both cut our eye contact when Andrea pass out in the entrance. I ran towards them but before me My princess holds Andrea's shoulder so she will not drop dead and get hurt.