Broken

Goodbye Nikki

"Pass me the tape." I reach my hand toward Nikki palm up.

"I can't believe I am leaving tomorrow, I am really going to miss you." She opens another box, and tosses her photo frames in, from the shelf.

"Dear, with all the blow jobs your secretary gives you, we knew this day was coming." I tease as I rip the tape open the length of the box. Nikki's head falls back laughing.

"See! I am seriously going to miss you!" She opens drawer and takes out a handful of garments, tossing them into a suit case sitting on her bed.

We spend all of Saturday packing up Nikki's belongings. It's a light-hearted day spent laughing and reminiscing. When night falls and we close up the last of the boxes, we order pizza, and sit in front of the TV, watching Grey's Anatomy. I try not to think of Alex and to focus on Nikki, but it's hopeless. I look at the clock and I think about Tuesdays at three. I look at the TV and I think about his cameras, his room, and my fight with Jenna, I wash my hands and I think about him in the shower stall. I sit on the couch with my hands on my knees and I think about his hands laced in mine. Shit. I am driving myself crazy. I don't want to drink. I don't want to go running to Malak's, but also I don't want to feel like this. Sitting here pining after a guy. What the hell is this?

"I am going for a run." I stand over Nikki sitting on the fluff.

"You're what?" She asks, mouth gaped open. "You don't run."

"I know, I know, I'll probably die out there, but honestly I have to shake some shit off." I say crossing the room to get my sneakers. "If you don't see me in an hour call the medics," I call out to Nikki, as I shut the door.

I exit the apartment building. Damn just jogging down the stairs kind of sucked. Who am I kidding? I'll just go for a walk. The sky is cloudy but I do see a few stars glowing in the dark. The trees are casting shadows along the pavement. I don't think I have noticed that bird house before. That's a cute bird house. Those mums look amazing. Wow they are so yellow and full. Some of the apartments are decorated for Halloween. That witch is funny. That Casper ghost is cute. I don't think I have ever noticed any of this shit before. I stop and take in all of the scenery in front of me. My complex is beautiful. The grass is littered with falls leaves. The lamp posts are casting prisms in all directions. The sidewalks are lined with rocks that are glistening in the soft light. I have lived in this apartment for two years, and if I am being completely honest with myself, I have never notice any of this. It's like a different dimension has fallen upon me. Hours go by, and I walk around taking in everything that I see. Eventually my legs begin to hurt and I go back to my apartment. I find Nikki asleep on the fluff. She looks peaceful and I decide not to wake her. I pull a blanket from the linen closet and cover her up. I'm going to miss her face.

Surprised at the fact that I actually did fall in to a deep sleep, I wake to the buzzing of my phone. What time is it? I sit up rubbing my eyes. I slept with my contacts in and my eyes are glued shut. Shit. It's eleven. I lay my head back down. Shit. Today is moving day. I fling myself from the bed.

"Finally, sleep head." Nikki says opening her hands in front of her behind the breakfast nook. She is showcasing plate after plate on the counter. "I made you all of your favorite dishes." She says beaming at me.

"Oh my god" I screech with excitement. I rush to the counter, to examine each plate, taking in all the sweet aromas. I give her the best hug possible, because I am not a huger, and it's a bit awkward, even Nikki is taken back by my display of affection. I rip open the kitchen drawer, quickly grab a fork and start, picking from each plate.