Blackwell Pages Headcannons, Drabbles, and Random Shower Thoughts.

TBP Characters As Stupid Things My Friends And I Have Said

WARNING:
PROFANITY, BLASPHEMY, DARK HUMOR, SEXUAL JOKES, AND MORE THAN A LITTLE STUPIDITY.

ENJOY

Baldwin -
Baldwin: "You look depresso. You want some expresso?"

*Person*: "How upset are you on a scale of one to ten?”
Baldwin: “GAY RIGHTS!"

Baldwin: "DID YOU KNOW PENGUINS HAVE KNEES!!??"

Owen -
*Person*: But Senior year? You wanna go out with a bang!" 
Owen: -slams phone on desk- "I have social anxiety!"

Owen: "HE’S  MORALLY UNDERMINING PHYSICS"

Owen: "Are you seriously psychoanalyzing the method I use to eat Oreos!?"

Matt -
Matt: "I’m PREGNANT?!"

Matt: “Koom Bi Ya my fuckers.”

Matt: “I had a dream that my dad was a nazi and was trying to Livestream Hitler's ghost with a walkie talkie."

Fen -
Fen: "Yes, I am Chaos, Death and Destruction condensed into a feeble human form, thank you for noticing, but water’s not wet!"

Fen: “It's not Christmas you asshole we have to celebrate killing the Indians first.”

Fen: "Let me give you advice against the police. If you can convince all of them to have an orgy with you, you'll be fine."

Laurie -
Laurie: "Ok, so why is there an extra small and an extra large, but no extra medium?"

Laurie: “If anyone sees my motivation can you please send its lazy ass home I got shit to do.”

Laurie: "Demon Bath and Body Works"

Astrid -
Astrid: “I would do the ancestry DNA thing but I’m scared it’s come back and say I’m half iguana

Astrid: “I’ve already confessed to kidnapping his girlfriend, what more does he need?!”

Astrid: “Children? On my pizza? It’s more likely than you think.”

Rayna -
Rayna: "I mean, if we're not allowed to have abortions… why should you be allowed to have balls!!"

Rayna: “alpha dracul’s emo domain doesn’t need sexy time!”

Reyna: *frustrated* " wHERE THE GODDAMN, PIZZA SPAM, SHERLOCK, DOUGHNUT THOT, BRAD PITT, CHICKEN SHIT, LITTLE GIT, BIG DICK, BABY SICK, PIZZA ROLL, UGLY TROLL, VOLTRON, KINKY THONG, MAN TITS, BITCH BITS, FEDORA ASS, YEAR-OLD TRASH, IS THAT HO!?"

Ray -
Ray: “You dont want Pedestrian Juice in ya car now, do ya?”

Ray: “Glad to see you trust my intel on human sacrifices.”

Ray: "The word "something"  can mean murdering seventy innocent children or sitting outside making daisy chains. Please be more specific."

Fen/Laurie -
Laurie: “I let *person* push him because I wanted you to feel emotions.”
Fen: “I do feel emotions, it’s called PUNCH HIM IN THE NUTS.”

Ray/Rayna -
*Person*: "What  does S.P.D. stand for?”
Ray: “Space Patrol Delta-”
Rayna: “SUPER POWERED DICKS

All of the above -
Fen: "Is it pronouced "nyo-he?"
Baldwin: "i say is nyoo-ki" -does the spicy meatball hand-
TBP kids: -pauses video-
Laurie: ....-starts screaming-  HEY OWEN??
Owen: what?
Laurie: IS IT PRONOUNCED NYO-HE???
Owen: what??
Everyone: NYO-HEE???
Owen: ...gnocchi. (no-ki)
Reyna: what the hell.

Teacher: "the lesson for today is, the Declaration of Independence: Who, What, When, Where, Why."
Matt: "Who the Declaration of Independence!"
Reyna: "wHAT THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!"
Baldwin: "WHEN THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!"
Astrid: "WHERE THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!!"
Fen: "wHY ThE dEcLArATiOn oF iNDePEnDeNCe."
Teacher: Stop.

I hope you enjoyed this small glimpse into my weird and often worrysome social life.