Dear Diary,
Is it bad that I feel so lost without my razor? I want to cut so bad! I don't want to, but the feeling is back like the last time I'd tried to stop. I will stop, no matter how long it takes even if it ranges from 2 weeks to 1 year. I can't stand feeling this way, it's like a brick I can't move!! Its annoying to know that it's there and I can't do nothing to make it go away, but try, and try harder.
I am so tired right now... Even if I have slept all day. My eyes just keep telling me to close them so they don't have to face the world. I mean I don't blame them, who does like the world? I know some people are actually happy, and love the world. I feel bad that I don't appreciate the world, but how can you when you're a depressed teenager who just feels like she's in darkness all the time? I can't help but wonder when I broke, I mean I know I've been through a lot of crap in my life, but I wonder what moment made me broke... What moment made me depressed and to start cutting, it hurts to try and think of going back to try and find out, but I want, no need to know what caused me to crack, what caused me to be broken.
I hate school... Why must I have to go back to hell? There's the preppies who judge, the jocks, the nerds, the social outcasts. I'm a social outcast. People have been calling me emo, I guess I am, but I don't mind. Atleast I know I'm not just a girl who mops around and cuts herself. But I know that you can't just call a person emo because they're depressed and cut. People should know by now to not judge people by how they look.
I've got to go, I'll write tomorrow, till then bye.
~AJ
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Dear Diary
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