I call her KARMA (completed)

Chapter 34_Hippy Kayey!

Hello hello, I just went through my plans and yes I do plan my books in advance so don't worry, I'm not taking you guys for a ride so bear with me to see how this unfolds, pardon the mistakes, it will all be edited later.

Warning: this chapter might contain some dark topics and references to mental illness.

Song: Heavy by Linkin Park.

I don't like my mind right now,
Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary,
Wish that I could slow things down,
I wanna let go but there's comfort in the panic,
...
And I drive myself crazy thinking everything's about me,
Yeah I drive myself crazy cause I can't escape the gravity.
...
I'm holding on, why is everything so heavy?
Holding on, to so much more than I can carry,
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down,
If I just let go I'd be set free.
...
You say that I'm paranoid but I'm pretty sure the world is out to get me,
It's not like I made the choice,
To let my mind stay so fucking messy,
I know I'm not the center of the universe,
But you keep spinning round me just the same.

Taylor grabbed the towel next to the bathroom mirror and wiped the water drops from her face, she stared at her beaten down reflection in the mirror, she sighed when she saw the bags under her eyes.

She moved back into her room, wrapping her arms around herself, she winced the second her hand touched her arms.

She looked down to the red patches on her skin that was a firm reminder of how dark her thoughts had been a few seconds ago.

She dropped down on her bed hopelessly, she put her head in her hands and drew her legs up to her chest as the feeling of self loathing came back, she was so tired of pretending to be unproblematic that she didn't bother to stop the tears that rolled down her cheeks.

This feeling of never being enough all boils down to her childhood, her parents were unknowingly neglective, they were always away on some business trip and even when they were around they never made time for her, even though she begged them to.

She distinctively remembered an incident that happened when she was six, it was the eve of Christmas and her dad had a business trip coming up so he had a flight scheduled for the next morning, Taylor remembered sobbing and begging him not to go but he said he was doing this for their family and he left.