I chose to let you go
Not because I didn't wanna keep you
And no, not because I found better
I mean I doubt there is better than you and even if there was I know I wouldn't deserve her
Or her love
I chose to let you go cause staying with me hurt you more than it made you happy
And I doubt you will believe me but causing you pain hurt me too
Though I know that should have been a motivation for change
I was stuck in my old ways and change was gon be hard to come by
I proclaimed love to you even when I knew my actions didn't add up
I called you my only when I knew you shared me
I wrote you poems that I often dedicated to others too
I lied through my teeth while shamelessly looking into your eyes
Everytime you called me out on my actions I always got defensive
But only cause in my own twisted way I hoped I would never have to lose you
I brought tears to your eyes
Then walked away everytime they started to roll down your face
Am not heartless, I know I should have stayed and kissed them away
But how could I console you when I was the source of your pain
How could I catch your second tear when I created the first one
How could I stop the third one when I guaranteed a fourth one
And everytime we got over one hurdle I was busy laying track for the next one
I was cursed with a portion of my own making
Why you chose to stay is still a mystery
How you dried your tears and came back to my arms is still a wonder
I was your worst nightmare when I should have been the star in your night sky
I was your worst pain when I should've been your greatest joy
I was your worst fear when I should have been your safe haven
And I hate to admit but I was the darkest hour in your life
Eventually I knew I had to let you go even though it was my worst fear
Cause the guilt caught up
And I couldn't bear lying to you anymore
The sight of your eyes red from nights of endless crying caused chills down my spine
And my fingers shook everytime you called and I knew we was up for another fight
But by then I was too far gone to ever make it up to you
I wished I could say sorry but what difference would it make
They say we want the best for those we trully love
But I would never have been the love you trully deserve
Because while you gave me your heart and put all your trust in me
My heart chose to dwell on the distractions
Chasing other women and disrespecting what we had
I would be lying if I ever said any of them ever matched up to you
I chose the dancing squirrel and lost site of the bigger picture
I swear I still get nostalgic off of your memory
Sometimes my tongue gets soar from the bitter taste of repercussions
And guilt eats me up like a scavenging vulture
So I wrote to you one last time
To say you always deserved better than what I gave you
Wrote you one last time to say you deserve a man that respects your love
Wrote to say you deserve a man that treats you as an equal and does not lock up his insecurities and emotions
I wrote you one last time
To say amidst my imperfection you were always perfect
Amidst my flaws you were flawless
I wrote you one last poem
To say you should never look into the mirror and think you were never enough
I was the one that was infected with a foul mentality
I still got love for you
And I know you always said you wish love guaranteed loyalty
I also know the separation was no consolation
But I did you so much wrong I had to make it right
And I believe I did
Cause I let you go
