you're the light in my dark. (remadora)

in love;

Tonks was staying alone in the darkness of the night. She was trying to calm down.

Remus Lupin. These two words were constantly repeating in her mind. Tonks couldn't stop thinking about him. After confessing her love for him many times, Remus was still running away from it. Tears were streaming down her face.

She had to get over him. What's the point of loving someone who will never love you back? Remus Lupin had to remain in her past. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't forget him. It wasn't that simple. It was almost impossible.

Somebody apparated near her, interrupting her thoughts. She was sure it was him.

"What are you doing here?" she spat without looking at him.
"I want to talk to you..." Remus responded.
Tonks immediately wiped her cheeks. She hated to cry in front of people, especially in front of him.
"About what?"
"Isn't that kinda obvious?"
"If you want to give me more reasons why I should stop loving you, I'm not interested!" Her muffled voice sounded sad.

"Tonks...", he started, "why do I have to tell you again that you won't be safe with a werewolf in your life?"

Her eyes started to get moist again.

"Anything new you want to tell me?" Her tone was too harsh. Remus bit his lip.

"I am dangerous, I don't deserve you..."

"Stop saying this garbage, Lupin!" she burst, finally looking at him. You're not a freak. You're not a monster. You deserve a happy life, and you deserve to be loved!"

"Nobody loves me, Tonks! Why would you?"
They gazed at each other. Remus tried to hide the pain in his eyes.

"You still don't realize you are much more than the poor old werewolf you see yourself?"

Remus shook his head and sighed.

"I can't force you to love me, Remus, and I don't want to do that. But I want you to know that you are loved, so I will continue to think about you, and I will try to make your life better!"

"Tonks..."
She didn't want to continue the conversation, so she walked away.
"Tonks, please don't go... Nymphadora... Nymphadora, please!"

The tears were still running down her face, but she stopped walking.

"Why don't you just tell me that I am annoying, Remus? I won't push you anymore if you just tell me that you... that you don't want me in your life. I want to hear you say that. Why don't you just say it and I will leave you alone?"

"So you want to leave m-"

Remus looked down and found his hand clenched in fists with his knuckles white.

"Do you think I don't want a normal life, at least for one day?" he burst. "This thing inside me is like a disease, and it has no cure! I want to know how it is to be like the rest and not to be known as a terrifying person. I want to stop hiding from the world, I want to stop feeling worthless, and I want to know how it feels to be loved!"

His voice broke.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to love someone, but you have to hide your emotions because of how dangerous you are? And then when you realize that the person you love actually loves you back, it is even harder to hide your feelings, and that will cause so much pain to that person?"

Tonks continued to stare at him. Was he talking about his feelings for her?

"It hurts so bad..."

Tears were threatening to burn his eyes.

"Our first mission together was the moment I knew I fell so hard for you... I've been in love with you since that day, even though I knew this feeling would kill me... I couldn't help myself. You were so wonderful, and I was totally mesmerized by you!" he said, blushing furiously.

"Remus-"

"People have been avoiding me all my life... I never thought you could fall for someone like me! I just want to be worthy because you deserve this whole world, Tonks, you-"

"Remus, please, please listen to me-"

"-you deserve everything. If I could, I would give it all to you, but I can't give you even half of it!"

"Do you know what hurts me the most? Hearing you say this garbage about you. Hearing you say how you're worthless and untrustworthy!"

"I've already mentioned that to you, Tonks. I say that because people can't accept me; the way they talk about me, the way they look at me every time they see-"

"THEY ARE THE PROBLEM, NOT YOU!" she shouted, looking in his stunning hazel eyes she'd fallen for, which were full of emotion. "Despite all you've been through, you managed to have a heart of gold. The werewolf inside you affects your senses and your- yo-", she wiped her cheeks and stared at the ground, "your body, but it doesn't reach your heart or mind or..."

Remus took a deep breath to keep his emotions at bay. Getting closer to her, he cupped her face in his palms.

"Dora, is it too late to say that I'm sorry?"

Tonks tried to remain calm, even though her heart was racing.

"Nymphadora, I am so sorry..."

In the next moment, he found himself kissing her, his lips lightly brushing hers. The feeling he felt next couldn't be perfectly described in words, but it felt like firewhiskey burning down in his throat, or like he was riding a roller coaster.

On the other hand, Tonks' heart was fluttering, and her hair was continuously changing into different colours, reflecting all her emotions. His lips were tasting like chocolate. And salt from her tears. Salty chocolate. An interesting combination.

When they pulled apart, he remained very close to her face. Their cheeks were like a rose in bloom. Remus took her small hands in his own nervously and opened his mouth, but instead of saying something, he just mumbled some words, then closed it. Tonks couldn't look him in the eyes.

"I- I can't believe you went through all this mess just because of me, I am deeply sorry for making you suffer, but oh God, I am so in love with you..." he sighed heavily. As soon as he noticed her bright red hair, a corner of his mouth turned up.

"Is this just a dream?" Tonks managed to ask.
Their eyes met again.
"I hope not."

Remus gently placed his hand under her chin, lifting her face to his own. He let his lips linger on hers for one more time, just to be sure that they weren't dreaming.

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