Silence and Tears

14

Alex picked up some pancakes on his way to perries room knowing that it was her favourite breakfast, when he reached her room he couldn't see her but noticed the bathroom door was shut, he knocked on the bathroom door gently. "Perrie, it's just me. Just wanted to let you know I'm here so you don't get a fright when you come out" he said, perrie opened the door a few seconds later and smiled at her boyfriend standing next to her, "morning" she said happily. "Morning P, did you sleep alright once I'd gone?" Alex asked setting the tray down on her table, "yeah i didn't wake up again so that's good" she laughed a little, "I brought you pancakes again for breakfast, you don't have to eat everything but I got a few toppings because I wasn't sure which you prefer" he smiled, "thank you, can I have a hug before I eat though?" Perrie asked quietly, "of course you can, there's no need to ask I'm up for hugs at any time of the day" alex replied opening his arms and embracing perrie into a warm hug, "you give good hugs" she mumbled as she hugged him back, "I love you" alex muttered, "I love you too" perrie smiled.
Once they pulled away from the hug Perrie sat down to eat her breakfast and Alex sat opposite her, "what do you want to do this morning?" He asked, "I don't know, maybe go for a walk" perrie said, "I'm sure we can do that, jonnie and Caitlin are coming at about 1 so that gives us time to go for a walk this morning and get some lunch before they get here" alex explained, "Im really nervous" perrie sighed, "don't be, I know it's easy for me to say but they're both excited to see you and have missed you a lot already, there's no need to be nervous Pez" he said, "I just wish everything could be back to normal" perrie said, "it will be soon, well as normal as it can be" alex smiled, "I don't even know what normal feels like anymore, life's not been normal since mam died. This is the most normal I've felt since, and it's only because of you. If I didn't have you here I wouldn't feel anywhere near as normal as I do right now" she explained. "Hey, I promise when you can leave here I'm going to do the best I can to make sure I can still be in your life and you can be in mine. You make me a whole lot happier and it would be a shame to lose someone as special as you. We'll find a way and we'll find our own 'normal'." Alex said sympathetically, perrie nodded a little as she took the last bite of her pancakes, "hey you've finished! I didn't expect you to eat it all, I'm so proud" alex smiled, "it was lovely, thank you" perrie said taking a sip of her drink and leaning back into the chair a little. "I'm just going to get dressed" she told Alex as she grabbed the pile of clothes on her bed and walked into the bathroom, Alex nodded and began to clear the table up a little whilst he was waiting.

It was about an hour later when the pair decided to go for a walk, perrie had slipped on her shoes and grabbed Alex's hoodie from the bed knowing that it would likely be cold, "you ready p?" Alex asked, perrie nodded and grabbed hold of his hand. "Would you rather stay inside today? We can go out if you want but it is quite cold" he said, "insides fine, if it's not too busy" perrie said quietly, she was staying as close to alex as she possibly could. "It shouldn't be too busy but I'll try and keep to the quieter corridors for you" alex smiled. He began tracing small circles on the back of perries hand as they walked knowing that it was something that would always bring her at least a bit of comfort, "you good?" He asked, perrie nodded and smiled at Alex. the pair kept walking through the corridors until alex noticed a fairly large group of people standing around, it was the only way they could go other than back to perries room and Alex knew they'd hadn't been out of there long enough yet. He looked over to the group intently until he figured out how many people there were and what they were like. Alex could feel perrie becoming more and more resistant to walk through the corridor as she began walking a little behind him and he could feel her tugging back on his hand, he didn't want to push her but he knew that if she could just walk past these people it would show her that there's nothing to worry about. Suddenly he stopped walking and put his hands on perries shoulders, "I know you're getting worried but everythings going to be alright, there's 6 members of staff over there and 7 or 8 patients but they won't talk to us, the staff are all already in conversation and the patients seem pretty occupied as well. There's nothing to worry about I promise, and I'll be here to walk past them with you as well." Alex said calmly hoping that the energy he was giving off would help to calm perrie down as well. She nodded slowly and grabbed hold of his hand, "ok? You ready?" He asked, "yeah" perrie whispered barely looking up from the ground, Alex nodded and carried on walking slowly to begin with and getting a little faster as they got closer to the group of staff and patients, he knew walking past them slowly would make perrie more worried so tried not to let that happen.