Maybe, Probably

5

There is was, right in front of my eyes. I didn't want to believe it but how could I not when it was right in front of my face. My mother was standing there. Leaning against some car and who was next to her. None other than Mrs. Summers. All-day I was hoping that the conclusion I came up with about Mrs. Summers being married to my mother was just my imagination but here it was. Proof that I wasn't just overthinking. 

I didn't know what to do. I saw them kiss and tears were filling up my vision. That's when Mrs. Summer turns and sees me. We make eye contact for a second before I runaway towards Fawn's car. Luckily for me, her car was parked farther away. I could hear someone calling my name from afar but I didn't stop. I kept walking until I reached the car. I grabbed on the handle pulled the door open. The car was unlocked so I opened the door with ease. I dropped my bag on the floor before slumping into the seat. 

I could feel the waterfalls building up behind my eyes. A few seconds later the rest of them enter. The car was filled with complete silence. Myo looked like she was ready to explode while Constant was trying to calm her down and without saying a word Fawn just hugged me in her loving mother way. A few tears slipped out but I kept my eyes closed to not let anymore out. We all spent a while like this. Once Myo was somewhat calm and I was sure that I wasn't going to cry, Fawn started the car and drove off.

All the way home, no one was talking. There was only the sound of the radio to cover this silence. I stared out the window looking at the few clouds that were scattered across the sky. I didn't know how I was supposed to think. I haven't seen or heard from my mother since she left when I was 10 and now the first time I see her in years is where she's kissing some woman. I really just wanted to lock myself in my room for the rest of the school year. I couldn't handle having to see Mrs. Summers. And since she's my homeroom class I have to see her every day and not every other day like some of my other classes.

I didn't even notice when we stopped in front of my house. I was so deep in thought that Fawn had to shake me for me to snap back to this painful reality. I slowly got my stuff and got out of the car.

"I'll text you later," Fawn stated. I nodded and made my way up the driveway. 

My dad's car wasn't in the driveway so I assumed he was at work. At least I had one less thing to worry about. 

I took out my keys and unlocked the front door. The house was quiet. I closed the door behind and made my way to my room. I dropped my bag on the ground by the door, tossed my keys on my nightstand, and flopped onto the bed. As soon as I came into contact with the covers, all the tears I've been holding in were released. All the emotions I was having, anger, sadness, confusion, was let out. Even things I didn't even know I was holding onto through the years were being let out. 

I always thought about the day I saw my mother again but this wasn't what I was hoping for. I tried to prepare myself to see her even if she was with someone but I didn't know it would hurt this much. I felt my heart pounding harder than it ever has before. 

I don't know how long I've been crying for but when I was done I felt nothing. It was as if I cried out all my feelings and was left an empty shell. Completely numb from the outside world. Laying in bed staring at my ceiling when my phone started to go off. It was a message request on Instagram from someone named zacpls. 

zacpls: Hey how's it going? I'm the guy from the party

I was confused for a second so I checked his profile. That's when I released who had texted me.

cotton_ball: Oh hey, how'd you get my Instagram?

zacpls: Someone I followed had a picture of you on their page

cotton_ball: Are you sure you weren't just stalking me o_o

zacpls: I can promise you it was all just a coincidence. If I was really a stalker I would have your home address by now.

cotton_ball: You're not making your case any better yk

zacpls: At least I'm nice enough to warn you. Aren't I the nicest stalker you've ever met? :)

cotton_ball: You're the only stalker I've ever met

zacpls: Wow!! I'm you first, I feel so honored

cotton_ball: You are a strange one

zacpls: Thank you, so how was your first day of school?

cotton_ball: It had to be the worst day ever

zacpls: Wanna talk about it?

We spent the rest of the day just texting each other. I don't know what it was but I ended up pouring out all the feelings I've been holding. He comforted me as best as he could. He even asked if he could call me and we just video chatted on Instagram for who knows how long. We went from my day at school, my past with my parents, and somehow ended at if a rainbow can cover the whole world. 

The group had texted me a few times to make sure I was ok I was surprisingly feeling a lot better. I was texting the group while talking to my newly made friend Zac. I didn't realize what time it was until my dad got home. He usually comes home from work around 11 to midnight.  I was in the living room at the time with the tv on. 

"Isn't it time for you to go to sleep?" My father says dropping his keys on the kitchen table.

"Yeah, sorry dad, I'll be going now," I stated. My curfew was at midnight and it was already a few minutes pass. 

"I guess that means this is the end," Zac says dramatically. "I probably need to be going to bed too. I have the morning shift at work ." Zac was a baker at some local bakery that his friend runs. And for those who think Zac is a highschooler, he isn't. He just turned 20 a few weeks ago and is grown, or as grown as you can be at 20. 

"Then I better leave you to get your beauty sleep." Through the screen I see him pretend to flip his hair and we both laugh.

"Good night."

"Bonne nuit de sommeil beauté (good night sleeping beauty)." 

"Did you just call me beautiful?" He says. I could almost hear the smirk on his face.

"So that's the only thing you understood from that?" 

"That's the only thing I need to know. How do you know french anyways?"

I paused for a second. "I learned it from my mom. Where she's from they speak English, French, and something else I never had the chance to learn." 

"Oh, sorry for-"

"Don't worry about it. I'm glad my mother taught me french before..." There was a long awkward silence. 

"Anyways, I should let you sleep so you're refreshed for your day at school. I can't be the reason you get bad grades."

"Alright then. I'll talk to you later then?"

"Obviously. Can't let my new bilingual friend go that easily." He laughs trying to lighten the mood. I waved goodbye and the call ended. 

I walked over to my nightstand and plugged my phone. Resting in my head on my bed I look up to my ceiling. My restlessness begins to creep up on me in fear of what tomorrow will bring when I wake up. Senior year was supposed to be a peaceful one. One where I can cruise pass each day waiting to finally walk across the stage and done with this town, but no this has to happen. Can I really make it till graduation? Is that even possible? It has to be. Staying in this town any longer than needed is not an option. I can do it. I only have to see her once a day. How difficult can it really be, right?