⭒Eutony⭒

The very last time

By  khadijah_kallai from her book "Subconscious"
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He was there,on that bed,
with people crowding him.
Murmuring endearments
For the very last time.

A lump formed in my throat
I had no voice
Nor did I have strength
I choked on my own words,
As I tried to utter his name.
But, In my whole life,
For the first time I felt
My heart breaking into two.

For the first time I felt
How hurt a heart can be.
For the first time I felt
The pain of losing a blood.

He lay there like a prince
He was a light in the dark.
He was shining,
like no diamonds ever did.
His handsome face luminous
The thick lashes of,
Surrounding his beautiful
But closed eyes.

His high cheekbones,
Now a tiny shade of pink.
His eyebrows perfectly shaped.
A little of his messy,
Shiny black hair
Resting on his forehead.

His pink lips slightly parted.
Revealed only a little of his
perfect set of white teeth.
His posture as if he rested in peace
His feet covered in the white cloth.
His hands secured tightly inside the sheet as I saw no more.

Is it really you?
I searched for his face.
isn't my brother busy in Delhi or at Bangalore!?
with all the business works?
Are you my brother?
Are you? Brother?

I shook my head,
The more I stare the
More pain I feel.
But looking at his innocent face somehow made me warm.

Like it always did.
he was always there to protect me.
One look at his face,
Problem solved!

And then they pushed us,
Asking everyone to let him go.
Go!?where?
what are you saying!?shut up.
I wanted to scream
Stop it, I say to myself.

I had once asked him.
Am i being troublesome?
Elder brother?
No, no little One
He replied shaking his head with a grin.
He gave me an Air kiss,
As he said.
You are the sweetest sister i've ever Had...

These words...lashed in my brain kadho.? what happened?
At that time at least I had
Someone to call my own brother
But now I had none,
Today he walked away.

I walk away as I fisted my palm
My head hung low.
My head spinning
My fists clenching
My heart-stopping.

My face more paler than ever.
Blood blockage in my veins
My palms purple in colour
I wanted to hurt someone.
I wanted to hit someone.
I wanted to cry my heart out.

But for now, I accepted the defeat
I retrace my steps.
I turned away slowly.
with tears welled up in my eyes,
my lips quivering,
my teeth chattering.
my legs shaking.

I cried in agony,
As my mind kept repeating like a broken tape recorder
My brother is gone.
My brother is gone.
My brother is gone?

The brother I grew up with?
The brother I played with?
The brother I loved?
The brother of mine?

I stop in my tracks,
As I wanted to watch him again.
I turn to look at him,
As heart drummed violently.
I stood there with my head in my hands
watching my brother handsome,
beautiful yet innocent face.
watching him with my full eyes.

For the very last time I saw him.
my eyes stung.
I did not blink an eye,
scared of missing anything.
Scared if missing the last moment
I am having with him.
I watch my Elder brother.
Trying to search those beautiful eyes
For the very last time.
But they were closed forever.
Forever!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

You are being loved and you will always be_