Queens & Clowns

To Chase A Dream In Oversized Shoes

After I took off from the farm running, I knew I could never go back. I knew deep in my heart that if i were ever to show my face again, my father would send the prized cow on me. How could I go back to a place where there was no support, no encouragement? I chased my dreams and they tickled my feet. It was simply too toxic an environment.

For the first few hours, I could not stop the tears from flowing down my face. The rush of hot tears against my ice-cold cheeks was a strange, but somehow freeing contrast. However, I soon realised that the tears had stopped. This was due to my tear ducts freezing. Exhausted, I was left with no choice but to pull my unicycle out of my Taobao box, and work my powerful thighs. The winter was harsh and cold, and there was no way I could survive the night. As the muscles of my thighs rippled, the frost surrounding my body seemed to thaw from the sheer masculine energy I radiated. This enveloped me in a cloak of manly warmth, my armour and shield against my brutal enemy of the cold.

Eventually, I came across an abandoned barn, creaky and old from disuse. Left with little to no other options, I chose to stay the night. Lining the dusty sheep feeder with my soft clown jumpsuit, I contorted my body into a third of its natural size. I chuckled to myself. Just like a clown car! As I lay my head upon my contorted ass, I felt truly free for the first time.

***

The rays of the sun seeped into my vision through the cracks in the roof, and the crack in my...fingers that shielded my eyes. The soft glow they cast over my clown supplies gave them an ethereal aura. I smiled. A good omen that portended a bright future <3

Packing my supplies up into a single sack that I stuffed down my pants for comedic effect, I mounted my unicycle once again, careful not to topple the fragile barn structure with the magnitude of my thigh muscles rippling. I looked down. Ah! It seemed my shirt had frozen and shattered in the cold of the night air. No matter. I would simply have to generate body heat from the pedalling.

I had a plan. I would make it to the city of Quefland by the end of today. The road would be long, and the journey arduous. As the sun hung low in the sky, the winds wracked the area with storms. In the noon, the sleet melted, making for a slippery unicycle ride. In the night, the bitter cold threatened to eat away at my already taxed body.

I took a deep breath. It was going to be a long ride. Inhaling deeply once more, I summoned the power of all of the clown ancestors before me. Uncle Billy (who was not my uncle), Big Johnny, and Dicky Dong's visages smiled down at me from atop the mound of clown noses in clown heaven. I was ready. With a sudden burst of strength, I stepped down, propelling myself forward on my unicycle with a single motion. The world whizzed by.

Suddenly, I heard the ring of a bell. I screeched to a halt. Who was it?

Looking around, I realised that I was surrounded by a marketplace of sorts. Bewildered, I dismounted. Tapping a passer-by on the shoulder, I asked, "Excuse me, where am I?"

"Oh! Beautiful man with the rock-hard abs, you are in Quefland!" she screeched, disintegrating on the spot from my manly aura.

Curse my powerful thighs! The momentum from a single unicycle revolution had carried me all 200 kilometers to the Quefland town square. I knew not my own strength. My rock-hard abs glinted in the sunlight, reflecting the rays of a thousand suns into everyone's eyes. The villagers squinted, and some screamed. Curse my radiance! I knew that I would have to buy a shirt, but had not the currency to do so!

After an hour of looking around in search of a money changer (with my supplies covering my glistening abs), I came to the conclusion that I would have to earn my first coins here. As embarrassing as the situation was, I must admit – the prospect of clownery tickled my pickle.