The Last Kiss

Chapter 7

It’s just past ten o’clock and I was sitting on my bed, trying to work through a book of Soduko that Arielle had bought me last week. I already finished several books of them. She makes me fill in the boxes with right numbers and then get the book when finished. I didn’t really know what’s her deal with them. I just do as she said. I tried taking a snooze right after a bath but the chilly water of the shower had really boosted me up. I was hoping the Soduko problems would help me do the trick.

            My eyes darted from the book to the picture frame above my night drawer. The one with Lance and me sitting on a bench, his hand covered mine that was rested on my lap. His mouth twitched into a very sincere smile. I marvelled the words on the frame– Happy Forever– that didn’t make sense anymore. Maybe to the photo it still did, because they remain the same forever although the people in it do change. The picture frame just stood there, oblivious to what was really happening. Oblivious to what had happened to the two persons in the photograph.

            I sighed.

            I laid down the Soduko book on the pillow and grabbed frame out of the drawer. I bought it near to my face. I studied the photo. Then suddenly I felt I’m missing him. I know I’d feel it the moment I stare into his eyes, his smile. I missed those times when it’s just us. When our laughter rings so loud into the air. I missed those times when he hold my hands, and planted a kiss on them. I missed him it’s like physical ache. I wanted not to cry but my eyes just did. Tears ran down to my cheeks every time I think of him.

            I brought the picture frame to my chest, to where my heart was wildly beating. I just can’t help myself from wishing that he’d come back to me someday. But I knew he wouldn’t. I just can’t accept it. I just can’t stomach the thought of it. I don’t want to believe he wouldn’t. But I knew I have to. It’s the end now. We must say goodbye. I must say goodbye, ‘cause he already did.

            I opened the back of the frame and got the picture out of it. I put it back on my night drawer, empty. I crumpled the photo hard until my knuckled turned white. And then I threw it to the bin beside the drawer.

I won’t hold on anymore. I’m letting go.

            Then I smiled.

I turned the lights out and lied on my bed. I brought the covers up to my chin and snuggled up to sleep.

That’s when my phone rang. I picked it up without checking the caller ID and brought it to my ear. My first thought was that it’s Arielle, calling again to ask if we have had homework. She usually doesn’t pay attention to stuffs like that. Mind bugging, she said one time.

“Hello? Arielle?”

“No.” said the male voice on the other end. “It’s me.”

Like a reflex, I clicked my phone off. I didn’t want to talk to him although part of me wanted to. I am afraid to hear his excuses and I’d believe in them. I took a deep breath and waited for the phone to ring again. I just knew it would. And it did. Only I’m more prepared. I picked it up and waited for him to speak. Silence hung in the air. There’s just no way I’m speaking to him first.

I heard him on the other line released a sigh.

“Rile?”

“Yup?”

“Nothing,” he whispered.

“Why d’you call, then?”

“I miss you.”

I jarred my mouth as I was taking in what he’d just said. Hoping the words will filter down from my brain. But I had no idea what to say. Or if he’s even serious.