Honor and Glory | ATEEZ

033

The door creaked open, slowly revealing a head of brown hair with a signature white stripe in the midst of the messy locks.

San poked his head into the room and froze as he locked eyes with me, the grey orbs swirling with pity and compassion, though it didn't do much to lift my mood at the moment.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hey," I said, my voice nothing more than a croak.

I didn't make any effort to move, and neither did San.

A moment of silence passed between us as we looked at each other.

"How are you holding up?"

"Horrible," I admitted, letting the word sink in for a moment before continuing. "I feel empty."

San didn't tell me that he was sorry which actually made me feel a little better.

People always said that they were sorry, but now I realized that those words didn't make any difference.

My mom was still gone.

It didn't matter if San was sorry or not.

My Kingdom was still falling.

It didn't matter if San was sorry or not.

"Are you sure that you don't want some dinner? We made food and saved a plate for you. I'm also pretty good at making hot chocolate if I do say so myself," San said.

"No thank you," I said, turning my head away from San to stare up at the ceiling once again.

"Well, I just wanted to say goodnight," San hesitated a little after the words slipped past his lips.

"We're not going to leave anytime soon, so please remember to put yourself first for once, y/n. You deserve that much. The quest can wait for now."

I didn't say anything, though I could feel that I was on the verge of tears again.

I tried to hold back the tears, not wanting to cry in front of San.

That was why I had hidden away in Yeosang's room in the first place.

"Call if you need anything, y/n. Goodnight."

San softly closed the door behind him, and the room once again fell quiet.

My heart suddenly fell, and I felt another wave of sadness washing over me. I sniffled.

"San?" I called out, my voice sounding shaky and heavy.

He couldn't hear me, I told myself. He wasn't going to come.

But just as I was about to turn around, the door opened once again, letting a streak of golden light shine into the dark room as it bathed the walls and plants in an orange hue.

"Hm?" San said, staring at me with worry in his grey eyes.

"Can you please stay with me?"

The ice elemental took a step back in surprise, the worry in his eyes quickly changing to shock as his head disappeared from the door again.

When he poked his head back in, he pointed a finger at his chest. His eyebrows shot up in confusion as if he was unsure if I had been talking to him or not.

As if he was unsure if I had meant to ask him and not someone else.

"Are you sure you don't want me to get Wooyoung instead? I mean, he's a fire elemental like you and I'm just-" he began.

I shook my head, sniffling again as I patted the bed beside me.

San hesitated, but he slowly stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, looking curiously around Yeosang's room for a moment as he admired the many plants, books, pictures, and candles.