the librarian ❆ kagehina

time will tell- but it sure is taking a while.

     "kenma, please let me inside! it's freezing out here!"

     "hold on, i'll be right there!"

     he is a liar! shōyō huffed, watching the cold air swirl around before his eyes as he shivered on the porch in kenma's house. he was about to call for the boy again, but the lock clicked as he opened his mouth.

     "hey, shōyō."

     "KENMA!"

     as shōyō lurched forward and tackled his best friend in a constrictive bear hug, the boy giggled a muffled, "how many times to i have to tell you that you can call me kozume?"

"i like your last name. that's what i called you in high school. i like tradition!"

kenma never really understood that, but smiled softly anyway. he was just happy to see his friend again.

"come on, let's go to my room."

shōyō trotted behind the slightly taller boy like a puppy and threw himself down on the king size bed that swallowed up the bedroom. kenma hopped into the gaming chair beside his desk and pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them and raising his eyebrows in questioning as he watched shōyō roll back and forth over his bed like an animal.

"what the hell are you doing?"

"your bed is huge! so much room to move!"

"you're such a child."

     kenma has never been a let-them-down-easy kind of guy. he believes that wasting time with useless forms of comfort or coddling is pointless, and if anything is to be done, the issue at hand should just be addressed and dealt with immediately. but, in a very specific instance, he ignores all that, because sometimes people need to be cared for before they can care for themselves. he sees there's something bothering shōyō- it's evident all over. the way he hugged him when he barged inside the house, the way he's sporadically making jokes and acting extra happy- they're all things only kenma would notice. and even though kenma wants him to be happy, before he can make that possible, he needs to ease into it.

"so, how's school been?"

"you sound like my mom."

"just answer the question, shōyō."

"fine!" shōyō laughed, but it was weak and short. kenma hated it when he laughed like that- like he's hiding something. "it's been...uh, well... school itself has been fine. classes aren't hard, grades are fine. it's just- y'know, the people."

"which people? have you made new friends up there?"

"one new friend. met him at the library," shōyō confirmed, scratching the back of his neck anxiously.

"is he giving you a hard time?"

"not directly."

kenma sighed, wishing he would just spit it out already, but he knows it's rude to rush shōyō along like that. he plucked the brown hair tie from his wrist and pulled the mess of bleached blonde hair falling in his eyes back, tugging a few pieces out in the front. settling a little deeper into the chair, he felt a sadder smile tugging as he encouraged, "please tell me what's wrong, shōyō. you look like you're hurting."

the boy on the bed looked down at his lap, seeing the redness of his palms and grimacing at his inability to seem okay. he tells himself, kenma can help, you should tell him, but he's so afraid. it's quite funny, you see- shōyō hinata can talk for hours on end about how friar lawrence was responsible for romeo and juliet's deaths, or why dwight is the best character from the office, or how important it is to like breakfast foods- but when he really needs to talk about something important, something that's killing him inside, not a word can be spoken.

     "i..."

     "let's start with this- what's this guy's name?"

     "tobio... uh, t-tobio kageyama."

     "how'd you meet him?"

     "well, he came into the library one day to check out books, and we talked for a minute. then he started coming back, for books and... and to see me."

     "what does he look like?" kenma continued, seeing the way shōyō melted into the conversation. he seemed softer, like he felt safer now that he'd said the boy's name.

     "he has straight black hair that falls into his eyes sometimes. it's so shiny. he's tall, taller than you, but not by too much. he's strong and he wears a lot of hoodies, and he has these blue eyes that look like if the sky and the ocean had a baby, and they're the most beautiful blue eyes i've seen maybe in my whole life," his eyes shimmered from behind a few heavy peach-colored curls as he described his friend.

     "and what's he like? is he a good friend?"

    "i'd say so, yeah. he's sweet. he loves to read, and he loves movies. he likes it when it rains, and he likes milk tea. he's really genuine, just all the time- it's like he has nothing to hide, he just is how he is. he's unapologetic, and he's funny, and he has the kindest smile, one that makes you feel like he's never smiled at anyone else the way he smiles at you. he's... he's just wonderful. he really is."

"you sound like you like him."

shōyō's eyes welled, and blood rushed to every open space in his face. he felt his throat closing, and he was so embarrassed to be a crybaby.

     "let it out, shōyō. it's okay."

     "that's the problem, kenma," shōyō spoke, the words twisted behind his teeth coming out strangled and sad, "i like him too much. i... jesus, kenma, i think i'm in love with him."

     kenma's chest felt heavy at the sight of shōyō feverishly wiping away tears, heaving heavy sobs as he spoke in broken sentences. he didn't get up to hug him; he felt like moving would stop shōyō from letting himself say what he needed to. the boy before him was on a roll, as inappropriate as that term may be- interrupting the flow of his emotions might make him hole up forever. shōyō can't survive on bottled up emotions, and kenma won't let him.

     "kenma, he's with someone else. he came into my life, made me fall for him, and then moved on to someone else without even thinking for just a fucking second that maybe he's hurting me. i... i can't take it. i can't listen to him talk about that other guy... how he's such a talented player on the school volleyball team, how he's so hot and how he's older and taller and prettier and everything i can't be for him. i can't do it anymore, kenma... i just can't."

     his voice was a whisper now, rough and strained. he'd run out of words, and he'd run out of tears. kenma hoisted himself out of the chair and sat on the edge of the bed beside shōyō and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly.

"kenma, what do i do?"

"for now, i think all you can do is wait. wait until the time is right, and let what happens happen. you deserve the most love, shōyō, and time will tell if he is the right person to give it to you."

"i want it to be him, kenma," shōyō said, his voice timid as a mouse, "so badly."

"all in due time, shōyō," kenma sighed and pulled his best friend in for a hug. he hopes this tobio kageyama comes to his senses soon, because he never wants to see shōyō endure such heartbreak ever again. "all in due time."