Who Could Love a Monster

Chapter 16

{Truth}

Chapter 16:

His stone.. It was in me.
I gasped and held him tighter, knowing what this meant. But I didn't want to accept it, I couldn't. My brain went into overdrive, trying to figure out what to do. [Okay.. He's dying, oh god Envy's dying...] I shook my head, eyes closing tight, and focusing on one fact. [He's still alive. I can do something, I can help. I need to figure out how.] I thought, eyes still shut and mind buzzing. I felt him tilt his chin up slightly, and he pressed his lips to my neck. A shiver went down my spine at the feeling, wet tears falling from my eyes and sadness filling my brain. [Oh Envy... Please don't leave me..] I felt myself sob into the crook of his neck, as he lifted his mouth to my ear. "(Y/n)..." he spoke, his voice barely audible as he whispered in my ear. I didn't say a word, but the cogs in my brain were turning desperately, trying to figure out what to do.

"I love you." his words made me freeze, every part of my body frozen as my mind absorbed what he just said. My breathing hitched, and I pulled him harder against me. "Envy..." I started, not even knowing where to begin. I loved him, of course I did.. But I knew that if I said it, he would let go. It would give him the final closure he wanted. And I.. I just couldn't let him go.
I stayed silent, and so did he. The room felt like it had been filled up with water, every sound seeming to muffle under its pressure. Then again, this might be the last time I would ever see him. Maybe I should say it while I had the chance.. My thoughts began to swim in despair, and I almost gave in, but then, in one fowl swoop, I figured it out.
It took all that was in me not to push him to the ground, so I did so gently, and smiled at his confused look. I almost couldn't look at him, his slow disintegration reaching to his elbows and knees. But he let me sit him down on the ground, and I quickly ran around the room, trying to find what I needed. He sat, eyes locked down at his slowly disappearing legs. "You.. Didn't say it back." he said, his voice sad. I sighed, but didn't stop looking. "I thought you weren't scared anymore." he spoke again, in the same tone. I paused, looking back to him. "I'm... Not. I just don't want to loose you." I admitted, letting myself step closer to him. He looked up at me and chuckled, "I.. I know." he said softly, and I gulped as his cheek began disintegrating. I turned around, going back to looking and smiling wide when I found a marker. I instantly went to work, kneeling beside Envy and drawing a circle around his body. His eyes went wide as he realized what I was doing, and he stopped my hand, staring at me with fear. "N-no you can't, you don't have-!" he started, but paused and looked down to my chest, where the stone was. "Oh." he said simply, and I nodded. I was going to save him, I didn't care what it took. I finished the large ring, then another inside the first, and then made a hexagon, then a circle, triangle and circle. A human transmutation circle.. Something I was all to familiar with. It had been burned into my mind after all, along with what I'd created years ago. It wasn't perfect, but it would have to do. I quickly jotted down the appropriate symbols, then stepped back. I looked him in the eyes, his expression worried while mine was determined. "Are you sure-" he started, but I cut him off. "I love you." I spoke, unable to help the small tremble in my voice. His lips curled up into a smile and he nodded. Mustang had stayed silent the whole time, not even trying to interfere, which I was eternally grateful for.
[This is it. I can do this. I can save him.] I thought to myself, as I clapped my hands together, then onto the cold concrete floor, taking one last look at Envy, and hoping to hope that everything would turn out alright.

---

I was nearly blinded as I opened my eyes, nothing but bright white surrounding me. There was nothing, just an endless abyss of blank space surrounding me. That was, except for the gate that stood behind me. I didn't even need to look to know it was there. I just stood, staring straight ahead at the figure in front of me, a mirrored version of myself. Except this one was all white, just like the abyss. I'd been here before, long ago. I knew what was coming, and I knew what I had to do.
"Go on then." I said, eyes narrowing as the figure just stood there, grin spreading across its face. "Use it." I spoke, raising my hand and pointing to my chest. The figure tilted its head, "You want to use the stone to bring him back?" it asked, and I nodded, not even having to think of it. "That philosophers stone barely had enough power to keep Envy alive before, and now that it's healed you..." it trailed off, grin ever present on his face. I breathed hard out of my nostrils, a pit forming in my stomach. "It's not enough.. Is it?" I asked, determined expression wavering just for a second. I turned around to face my gate, not even needing a response to know the answer to my question. A pause drifted through the space between us, my eyes locked on the familiar symbols on the giant doors. They'd opened once before for me, tiny black hands grabbing my limbs and pulling me in like the plague. Fear jolted through me at the thought. "Then what would it take." I spoke, as more of a statement than a question. "You don't already know the answer?" it asked, and immediately my mind was bombarded with memories of that night, not knowing whether it was the strange figure that was doing this to me, or if it was of my own volition. Visions invaded my head. The creature I created.. The blood... And my cat. The life I'd sacrificed on a mere hope that it would bring back my parents. A life for a life.. It had always been down to that. Hadn't it? "No. I don't." I answered boldly, knowing from its short laugh that followed, that it knew I did. "Then you'll have to figure it out, won't you?" it responded, it's voice devoid of any emotion, other than what could be assumed as mischief.. Or perhaps wisdom. Something in what it said, made me think. It seemed sincere.. But it knew that I'd already figured out the price that needed to be paid. So... Was that not the answer?