The Adventures of Cake (5SOS)

Chapter One

"Come on Calum!" yelled Luke.

'Why was he in such a pissed mood?' I thought. Maybe he has a headache, or maybe he realized that I'm the best looking in the band? Or maybe he got bit in the dick by a snake! I don't know. Luke Hemmings is a strange little blonde dude.

"Cal! C'mon mate!"

"What's gotten you in a mood??" I ask daring to dig deeper.

"Well I want to achieve my goal of the week, but someone is taking too long to do their hair just right so it goes well with their beanie!"

He was getting really pissed now. When Luke gets pissed he taps his foot rapidly and huffs and puffs; and there is a hella a lot of foot tapping and huffing and puffing so much I'm afraid he may pass out.

"Okay, Okay I'll gob" I didn't want to make him more upset. "What is your goal of the week?"

"Oh, I want to be the first one at maccas and order the first frappe of the day" he added smiling and going out of the door.

My mouth stood open. This was his goal?! Jesus. It's a good thing he's my friend; I mean the only reason he has friends is because of me. I smirked, I'm pretty awesome.

"Calum is da greatest!" I yelled holding my hands up in fist triumphantly.

Luke just flipped me off and kept walking. Friendship....it's beautiful!

-

"There you got your stupid frappe! Let's go!" I encouraged Luke to move from the table he was currently perched at.

"Wait...something doesn't feel right" he said looking around as if he was looking for something...or someone.

"Well, I'm leaving. See ya at the studio bro!" I yelled over my shoulder. He just sat there. Thinking.

As I was walking towards the studio I felt like I was being followed. I looked behind me and no one was there. I did a full 360° turn. Still nothing. What the fuck? Well I just hope it's not ninjas, I think chuckling to myself.

BAM!

What the hell! I put my hand to my now bruising jaw. I looked up and turned my attention to the person who just rudely messed up the goods. Holy shit! It is a ninja!

"What do you want!?" I shout hoping to get an answer from the man all in black.

No answer.

SLAM!

I fell to my knees clutching mini Calum. I will never have sex! What is life?! I looked up once more and there was no ninja. Was it an illusion? Was it that peach iced tea Ashton gave me yesterday? Did he spike it? Nah, Ash loves me.

I stood up slowly making sure Mini Calum is safe. All good!

BEEP! BEEP!

I looked to see who texted me while rubbing my jaw.

Text Message:

From: Lukey Poo

Hey.....um so I just got fucking attacked by a ninja. What the hell is happening?! Oh well call me back. I'm so confused. x

I smiled noticing the kiss. He's so gay sometimes, but I better call him so he doesn't worry.

"Hello?" He answered the phone uncertain.

"Yeah mate it's me! So I got attacked as well..."

He went silent.

"And mini Calum will never "do it" ever again!"