Green Eyes

Toys in the Attic

Hi, we're back. Not sure how people feel about this one, but we'll carry on anyway. Thanks to those of you who reviewed.

And don't worry, this isn't the Tori and Ted story. Although I feel a little sorry for him. Maybe I should pair him up with Trina.

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Jade spent a restless night. Tori's virginity had always been a source of comfort to her, not least because it was a clear line in the sand, a demarcation between her maturity and Tori's inexperience, a reminder that no matter how many times she was passed over for the lead role, no matter how many times Tori's rising star seemed to eclipse her own, there was still this - she'd done it, and Tori hadn't. But also because it stood for something, a little glimmer of innocence in an increasingly adult world, an untarnished spot on the mirror. Tori was hot - Jade was secure enough to admit that - and the fact that she never seemed to realize it, that she hadn't stepped into it, embraced it, used it to her own advantage, was oddly reassuring in an age when everyone else was racing to grow up.

And now all that was going to change. Tori was going to pack away her toys into the attic, and make her first foray into the world of sex and disappointment by getting laid. And for reasons Jade couldn't quite fathom, that thought twisted in her gut. Listening to Tori talk about sex was like hearing your grandmother using the 'c' word, it was all kinds of wrong. Tori still slept with her Cuddle-Me-Cathy doll, for Christ's sake. Although that wasn't necessarily a deal-breaker - Jade had felt like an adult for as long as she could remember, but still Sergeant Stuffley kept his secret, silent vigil in the bottom drawer of her closet, waiting for the call to arms, the moment when his thread-bare comfort might be needed once again.

And Tori wasn't even doing it for love, that was the worst thing - she didn't love Ted, that much was obvious, she was just going to go through the motions because that was what was expected of her, that was just the next thing, and her hesitation when Jade had asked whether she really wanted to had been noticeable. The thought of Tori undressing, reluctantly, hands trembling with nerves, waiting for a mauling at the hands of some teenage asshole made Jade's stomach churn. Added to that was a sense of guilt that she might have encouraged her to do it. She tried to replay the conversation in her head. She'd intended it to be a brush-off - do what you want to do, play it by ear. But maybe she'd blown it by telling her it was no big deal. Fuck, that wouldn't be good - to have Tori standing there in tears the morning after, blaming her.

Maybe she'd got it all wrong. Maybe Tori really wanted this, maybe she was so overcome with lust at the very thought of Ted that she couldn't wait to throw caution to the wind, toss her underwear over the lampshade, and get on with the job. But somehow, that didn't make it seem any better - mentally, the thought that Tori wasn't an unwilling participant made her feel less guilty, but the idea of Tori romping around the bedroom with Ted, shrieking in delight, made the gnawing pain in her belly worse.

She groaned and rolled over. Tori was nothing to do with her, and what she got up to was her own business. She'd asked for Jade's advice and Jade had given it to her, to the best of her ability. If Tori chose to get jiggy with Ted that was her own decision, and it wasn't up to Jade. She'd already spend two hours more of her life thinking about Tori having sex than she'd ever budgeted for, and the cramps in her stomach were probably just the fact she was due on. At least she hoped she was. That niggling worry every month was a reminder that she was the last person to lecture anyone else about innocence.