Author's Haphazard Thoughts

EwanPartOne

Diko alam kung ano gagawin ko. Ewan mag-aaral ba ako o magtrabaho nalang. Nasa punto ako ng buhay particularly in my 19th age. Sabihin mo na wala pakong kwenta ngayon kasi yun nga diko alam gagawin ko. Do you know the saying nasa Dyos ang awa nasa tao ang gawa, pano kung walang gawa edi hindi na din kakaawaan ng Diyos. Basta EWAN.

My BIGGEST reasons to continue living my life though this is also the reason kung bakit conflicted yung utak ko. BECAUSE I LIVE TO THE EXPECTATION OF MY MY FAMILY. Nararamdaman ko na gusto nila o gusto ko na maging something in the future but I'm just a sore loser you wanna know why. Well, I've always run from problems. Takbo ng takbo pero syempre naisip ko din na magbago ngunit may remnants pa din ng kahinaan. I just want to be myself to be a SIMPLE man, Live a SIMPLE life habang kino-compensate ko mga magulang sa mga ginawa nila. EWAN ko, life really hits you hard: the thoughts inside your head such as dapat 'di ko biguin magulang ko, ano kaling iniisip ng iba tungkol sakin kapag ganto pinili ko yung mga ganun. Pero deep inside gusto mo lang maging masaya at makuntento sa buhay. Basta EWAN.

Life choices. Live yourself through yourself or Live yourself through others. Well that's a random thought that is circling inside my mind. And it is freaking affecting my emotional stability especially my mental health. Hirap pumili par. Napakadaling isipin nung bata ka, eto gusto ko maging ganto, gusto ko maging ganyan pero ngayon kailan mo ng mamili kung ano talagang gusto mo pero may sinasabi din minsan ng konsensya ko na ayus lang ba kung ganun lang ang gusto ko. Ano kali iisipin ng iba. Hay nako basta EWAN.

Kung sakaling inisip mo kung ano yung SIMPLE LIFE na gusto ko. Wakatta (I understand in Japanese language). Keep reading lang. Simple life for me is having repaid my parents and living to my utmost freedom. Also having two cats, binge watching animes, reading a lot of mangas and playing games. I know, I know I can just work plain simple with a minimum wage while living with my two cats and doing my hobbies but the big wall is how to repay my parents. That brings me to my life choices do I live through myself or Shall I live through others expectation.