Letters To You ✓

11

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As I turn to the next page, my eyes focus on a polaroid picture tucked in between. It's a picture of me with a boy, who's smiling at the camera, his pearly white teeth and a chiselled jawline accentuating his facial features. My eyes bore into his steel grey ones as they sparkle under the flash of the camera. The smile on my face, the way my eyes are pouring out love as I look at him- while he looks at the camera is a clear indication of just how much I might've loved Oscar.

This boy is beautiful. And he's supposed to be my boyfriend. He's supposed to mine.

I clutch the picture in my hand, closing my eyes tight to focus on my memories, coercing my mind to come up with something, anything.

But I fail. Miserably. All is feel is the growing headache, that's a constant reminder of how fucked up my life is. How fucked up this situation is.

Remember the day we took this picture? It was our second year anniversary. You surprised me by knocking at my door at ten in the morning, barging in with my favourite - spiced chicken and fried rice balls.

The taste might not have been good, and we had to order pizza after that, but still you made efforts. You hate cooking but you did all of that for me. Even when we both had an important final exam the next day.

Every time I look at this picture, all I can feel is just how lucky I am to have you in my life. How lucky I am to call you my best friend, my girlfriend, my mentor and my one and only.

You painted sunsets in my dusky life. You filled my whole world with sunshine. You brought me back to life. How do I thank you for that? How to I tell you how much you mean to me? How do I make you realize that you are my world?

I love you like the stars love the night sky.

I love you like sunflowers love the sun rays.

I love you like Joey loves food.

Look at what you've done to me. You've turned me into a sappy, love sick poet. But I don't mind it one bit.

If I can, I'll spend my whole life writing you these shitty poems to remind you just how much I love you.

Because you deserve it gorgeous. You deserve every best thing to ever exist.

I love you Alisha.

I wish I could say it back, Oscar. I wish I could say it back.

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